illusionised

2007-06-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

I HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE!!!

i'm so out of here. found a better place to throw my thoughts.

relink! (:

http://twelfthrose.livejournal.com/

with love, CONSTANCE.

2007-06-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

i woke up today because i was having a terrible nightmare. i dreamt that i was killing a rabbit?

oh yes, the rabbit looks just like this. so cute and innocent right? it was super horrifying. what a way to start a brand new day.

anyway, i cleaned up my itunes + added new songs to my itunes + make my itunes look very neat. HOHO. so proud of myself. next up, i'm gonna pack my messy room (even though i claimed that i've packed it alreay, it is still very messy. lol. )

today's not a day of countless activites. studied a bit of chem here and there. atoms, molecules and stoichiometry. everything we do, start from the basics right? or wrong?

and then when i got so restless, caihui greets me with a packet of tau huay. (:

thank got for friends. :DDD

im so stuck to this Death Cab For Cutie's song.

Marching Bands of Manhattan

If I could open my arms

And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,

I'd bring it to where you are

Making a lake of the East River and Hudson

If I could open my mouth

Wide enough for a marching band to march out

They would make your name sing

And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes

To see in all directions at the same time

Oh what a beautiful view

If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you said

That I live like a hermit in my own head

But when the sun shines again

I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna...

2007-06-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

the three angels in my life..gabrielle.

beatrice.

raenen.

they have brought so much joy into my life. just by being able to see them having fun, it's already one big major thing to celebrate about. i love rae boy, beatrice darling and little gabby!

i have yet to take an individual photo with gabby! haha. i think i'll wait till she gets a little older. cause i'm so afraid i'll irritate her when i hold her in awkward positions! haha.

i'm supposed to study today. SUPPOSED. we'll see how it goes. (:

2007-06-10T19:43:00.000+08:00

i typed a whole chunk on my random thoughts. then i decided to delete that lot away. meaningless. ha.

i'm excited with rapture! it'll be horrible to miss it! cause i know it's gonna be mind blowing. :D

went for ACCO's concert at vch yesterday with sarene darling. i-ming did a pipa solo! and i swear she looked super good on stage!

cam whoring before the concert. lol. typical.

after the concert!

i think i'll probably start a photo journal this holiday. ((: and i think i should start studying already. CT in like 2 weeks time. study group anyone?

this is just one of those days when constance just wants to be alone in her room. and no, i'm not falling into depression. there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. i believe everyone will definitely have one such day, when we all breakaway from the world and enjoy the solitude.

uhuh. and then?

2007-05-29T20:08:00.000+08:00

i took this when i went haji lane today with dawn the prawn. i think it's nice. but some people think otherwise. but, whatever it is, haji lane's my favourite now. ((:

2007-05-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

the dance SYF video is finally out!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

SAJC DANCE. SYF 2007. LIBERTA (FREEDOM)

i'm so glad i'm part of this. and i'm so happy to be part of the awesome family of dancers in SAJC. I LOVE YOU ALL. been through thick and thin. all the little moments we have, the hardwork and sweat, i'll never forget. we've did our best, let's enjoy of fruit of our labour. :D

today is a happy day, because:
1) i managed to watch the SYF video. (AND, of course, managed to have a good laugh as well yesterday :D)
2) i understand what's going on during lesson. (GENERALLY)
3) i did someone a favour, by leading the person's mortal to her clues. (just in case you're wondering, o7S26's having this angel-mortal game, where angels have to do nice stuff/give something nice to their mortals.)
4) i woke up early today.
5) i had brownie (the ones i baked at Cuen's) for breakfast.
6) i printed cg tee stuff in the library. (my mum ALWAYS forgets to but the printer ink catridge)
7) dad picked me up after dance.
8) i ate KFC!
9) i did P.E. lol.
10) i placed photos into some photo frames which i bought a while ago from ikea.
11) i drank ribena!!!
12) i organised my worksheets, notes and tutorials. :DDDD

today may not be that happy a day, because:
1) i paid 2 freaking bucks for a 25 minutes bus ride. (i had no money in my ez link card. and i couldn't pay by coins because i was short of 5 cents. -.-)
2) i perspired a lot during P.E.
3) my rib bone hurt so much, that i feel the pain even walking, or laughing. (!!!)
4) i may need to see a doctor because of the excrutiating pain in my ribs.
5) i wasn't able to really dance. )))))):
6) i did not go queensway after dance.
7)i forget to print my calendar!!!!!!
8) i didn't bring my Chemistry TYS to school.
9) i was told by Mr. Wong that we'll be having a Chemistry make-up tutorial on monday (which is the start of the long awaited holidays).
10) i slept for a while during Chemistry Lecture
11) i realise that i may not be able to attend some sessions during EMERGE due to dance commitments in school.
12) ********* :(

SOOOO, overall, its a pretteh okay day. -.- HAHA. 12 vs. 12.

i feel the pain in my ribs. seriously. i don't dare to go the docs! ARG! but i need some pain killers for dance tomorrow. no matter what, i'm so gonna dance tomorrow. LOLLY.

i wanna change my phone with my mum's current one. heh heh.

and someone please remind me to get geog notes tomorrow mans.

and and i need to buy my bus concession!

and and and i am excited for this sunday's OG20 (PAE) outing!

end.

2007-05-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

sometimes, have you felt like no one cares you when you call for help? when you scream, and yet no one hears you? where do you go to, when you're desperate, disappointed and frustrated? when all else fails, what do you do?

okay people. the above is just a random train of thought. been thinking a lot lately. maybe because life has been so hectic, there's no time to breathe. and when there's no time to breathe, you feel so restricted and contained. and you think of weird stuff? hahaha!

anyway, i think this week is a rollercoaster week. don't ask me why. people in SA should know.

when life's a rollercoaster, learn to enjoy in while riding.

tuesday was studying date with i-ming! and we studied MATHEMATICS, to be exact, graphing techniques. we were like trying ot figure out why this graph looks like this and how to draw that graph. and then, we got so tired and so we played with i-ming's photobooth!!!

photobooth is love la. i-ming, we shall continue our collection our next study date alrights! :DDDDDDDDD

rapture tickets update: night show is sold out! left with tickets for matinee. please secure your tickets asap if you really wanna come. ((:

took this picture when we're bothe making our way to i-ming's. i quite like this picture. gonna try editing it. (: [i-ming, you look like a emo kid. :D]

hmmm. gotta go catch some sleep now. tomorrow's a long long day. take care everyone!

till then.

when all else fails, i depend on god. (:

2007-05-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

Candleburn

On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night

For someone

She lets herself go

Like an angel in the snow

She lays down on her back

Down on her back - she goes

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me

On Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design

She waits - for someone

Tonight she'll give herself away

She'll break apart all by herself

Its so easy how we come undone

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me

She pulls me in - strips me down

She pulls me in - turns me out

She pulls me in - strips me down

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me
Will they burn for me

god knows where this road will lead to. i don't. do you?

hah. accusations, assumptions and all that crap. when will it end?

thank you, for the beautiful lie.

2007-05-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

hoho. did i mention that constance failed her napfa test? stupid inclined pull ups. i did 0. i know it's hard to imagine, but yah. i did okay for the rest la! as in, i would have passed if i just do 3 freaking pull ups. argh. whine whine whine.

on a side note, i went ikea with my mum today after dropping by queensway sc. and my mum decided to be generous and bought me some stuff that i claimed would help me organise my life and room. i got this magnetic board to replace my old, and ugly cork board. and i got some other random stuff too. muahaha. revamping in progress yo! i'm so gonna throw all those useless worksheets away. :DDDDDD

and update! j1 dancers are not doing the rjc fund raising concert anymore. so happy! and miss tan thought we would be upset when she announced the news to us. omg. i could not have been more happy. it's so rushed. and i think we shouldn't like perform an unprepared item, especially when the person in charge is so pissed with us. lotsa miscommunication and stuff, and i won't go into details. but, the bottomline is, WE'RE NOT RUSHING FOR TIME ANYMORE. but, on the other hand, morning has broken item has to be the main focus now. hurr.. i hope mrs chia doesn't force us to go on pointe. my toes will die. =x

i wonder if anyone will come up with this tracking device to see who actually reads your blog, some what like the one in friendster. because i wonder who bothers reading. okay.i know that was pretty random. i'm random. ((:

oh yes. did i mention that i spilled sulphuric acid on myself during SPA? i screwed the whole SPA la. i think i was like too nervous and was trying so hard to be careful. in the end, i created more problems for myself. and for the last question, i just missed by one step. HOW GREAT. so much for the first SPA in my JC life. !!!

constance need to cut her hair. it looks like grass now. STEPHIE!!!! hahahah.

randomness! i don' really like school. especially, when you don't understand a single thing half the time.

ohwells.

2007-05-08T21:49:00.000+08:00

080507. today is a special day. (:

oh well. did i mention that i have SYF withdrawal symptom? yes yes. suddenly, life seems so empty. literally. but good thing there's rature to keep all of us busy. the fund raising item's killing all the J1s because apprently, we've not finished the choreography! and that is really bad. AND, morning has broken. the man with the, ahem, BEAUTIFUL husky voice. lol. so little time!

today i went queensway sc with michy and victor to check out details about 07s26's pullovers! we're gonna do grey pullovers yo! :DDD super excited! and and, probably gonna make cell group tee as well! i seem to love all these stuff. i guess it gives us an identity? i think. that's how i feel la.. in a way, unity is developed. i ate ikea's swedish meatballs after that! yum! and i bought ballerina cookies from ikea too! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

xoxo. so cute right. i'll love him forever. (:

will be going CPIB tomorrow. missing lessons from one onwards! GOOD. BUT, i'll miss technique class. ): i wanna danceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. anyway, peeps who wanna come for SA dance concert, please pass me the money soon to secure seats! :DD

i'm gonna spam this post with pictures plenty!

i just so love all of them.

i-ming is love. <3!

oh! those bangs. haha!

caihui, cuen! sandwiched in between.

LOVE.

i'm tired of waiting for my retarded laptop to load the pictures up. i'll continue soon!

gotta go catch some sleep. z monster chasing! RUN.

2007-05-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

RAPTURE 2007.
Date /Day : 21st July 2007, Saturday
Time : 1400 hr (Matinee) and 2000 hr (Night Show)
Ticket Price : $16 for Matinee, $20 for Night Show
Those who wish to go, please let me know and pass me the money ASAP to secure tickets! (((((:
SUPPORT SAJC DANCE. :D

LIFE HAS BEEN STRESSFUL. and i doesn't help when you have to rush for project work PI for like 4 days in a row. i'm actually still feeling quite insecure about my PI. but, no point dwelling on it now. cause i just handed it up. bleah. AND, that dumbass jeffrey just had to decide to redo his PI at the last minute. what's the best thing is, he didn't ask for an extention. -.-!

tests and more tests coming up. and guess what? constance know nuts about summation, chemical bonding and market failure. constance is so gonna die and retain and rot in SAJC for 10 years, just to finish the JC course.

time is running fast away. yes i know this line is from the school song. whatever it is, i'm seriously so short of time! when i get home, it's already so late. and when i start doing my homework or revising my work, i'll eventually fall asleep on the table because i'm alread so dead tired. i can't even find a solution now. i need to study. i so need to study. but when?!

sometimes i think people really take things for granted. like, when you have it, you don't cherish it. but when you don't, you want it like nobody's business. that's what i feel now. some people really have so much time i the world, yet they are not utilizing it to the fullest to achieve their maximum potential. i feel very frustrated about that. even if no one else feels this way, i know dawn the prawn does. so i can just run to her with tears and complain to her. she totally understands. i love her laaa.

i need a locker, seriously. my back is aching from all the heavy books and notes and whatever that is in my bag.

random misses : I-MING, SARENE, HEIDI, CHERYLNN, VANESSA, SHUHAN, ANDREA, GUAN JIE, NICOLE TWIN, XIN MIN, WAN JOO, DAWN THE PRAWN, AMANDA LIM.

haiyo. i really wanna make time for these people. i so wanna meet them and talk to them and bitch to them about whatever that's in my mind. sigh.

don't compromise, constance. keep on keeping on.

dawn the prawn, i need a hug tomorrow. :D

2007-04-26T17:05:00.000+08:00

GOLD and proud of it.

we all believe people have eyes to see and brains to think for themselves what is good, and what's not. i felt unjustified because what i thought was horrible, earned them a honours. they so don't deserve it. but who cares anymore now. dance is subjective. and i still believe sajc dance is dancing not for anyone, but ourselves. we gave our all, and we didnt regret. nothing mattered anymore, when we know we made an impact on others when we danced. when we know that we sent people tearing, and hair standing, and zaki's praising us that we made him proud on that UCC stage, nothing mattered anymore.

so today's a day of crying and tearing, because of unfairness, unjustification. but i guess, it really really doesn't really matter anymore.

many thanks to zaki for his wonderful choreography and the trust he have in us to take on such a mature piece of music. thanks to miss wee, who drilled us so much on our techniques and make us look so professional on stage. thanks to miss tan, mrs chia, miss lee for taking care of us this period, and always being with us. thanks to all seniors who came back to help us before and on that day itself. thanks to all who kept sa dance in their prayers. thanks to the school for being so supportive. thanks to everyone who sent their best wishes and encouragments to us. thanks to god, who made everything possible.

thanks, thanks, thanks. (:

come watch rapture, 21st july 2007 @ mediacorp. tickets selling through SA dancers only. come and see what we are made of. :DDDD

i love SAJC Dance. one family unbroken.

2007-04-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

25th APRIL! DANCE SYF! :DD

i went to school with a fever and really bad sore throat. survived the first hour. and before i knew it, when i started dancing, i felt okay and everything was gone.

dance is my remedy. :DD

today is a happy day! practice at the hall before the competition was fantastic! everything was in place i thought! emotions, steps, blocking. it felt good. and we all felt ready for it.

then we had all the buslte, rushing for make-up etc. everyone's like panicking cause mrs chia's always going, "__ MORE MINUTES DANCERS!" so intimidating. and, she kept saying 10 more minutes. its like the 10 minutes never comes. lol. that was quite hillarious. ANYWAY, despite of all the bustle, i managed to snap some pictures! :DD

amandawn! lols!

MANDA!

weirdy and chin chow! (:

before the competition, when we were warming up and waiting for our turn at UCC, i bet all SA's dancers were feeling super uber nervous la. i feel it in the atmosphere. backstage, when were wear supposed to get to the right hand side of the stage, i was holding nettie's hand cause apparently both of us were like so nervous.

BAM. we went on stage and do what we practised! 6 months, for just that 6-7 minutes on stage. but, i'm telling you, the 6 months is all worth it. ((: we all felt good after the item! miss tan said it was hair raising, zaki said we made him proud on stage. :DDDDDDDDDDDDD major happiness.

actually, i don't mind not knowing the results. cause this is all i need i guess. but on the other, i would wanna know where SAJC dance stand in Singapore. international judges, standard raised. i'm opening my heart and accepting whatever that comes my way. because i know we'll all give each other support, like how we gave before SYF. ((:

then back to the studio, it was more cam whoring. kris even gave us a time-limit for cam whoring. LOL.

J1s!

WEIRDY VEEKAY!

and then it was PASTA MANIA with the darlings, dawn the prawn and manda! amanda left after dinner to study at home! while dawn and i went spotlight and didn't want to leave. typical. :D

dawn with her new bag. haha! the mirror's dirty!

RESULTS TOMORROW. dancers, see you around screaming tomorrow!

i love dance. :D i know it and i know it.

do your best, and let got do the rest. :)) we did.

2007-04-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

HOHO.

thanks to those who wished me happy birthday and those who made my birthday such a special birthday, one that is full of so many surprises. if i didn't remember you, let me know! BIG thanks to nicole twin, dale, jingfa, kaishing, jj, cuen, caihui, wenshan, junyong, hong jie, tianlong, pohmeng, lothars, N371, i-ming, gj, cherylnn, shuhan, andrea, stephanie lee, casherine, vivian, calanthea, peiyu, michelle ma, michelle ng, kok kin, lionel, abel, glenn, daryl, aaron dao, wei shing, wei kang, ying jie, 07s11(PAE), kenn, daniel chua, tong neng, jonathan chan, 07s26(JAE), jan, eunice, heidi, sarene, alex cheng, jillian, minghan, joel ong, chuhong, theresa, jia yun, almeric, matheus, wai mun, shuqian, martin, xinmin, nicholas wong, wan joo, jiehao, sijia, kenbin, geri, amanda lim(4e4), dawn bey, amanda lim(sajc), germaine, sajc dance seniors, whoever who wished me on friendster.

today's a happy day i guess. although there's dance at UCC from 6 to 8 pm. but i felt that my day was well spent. i started my day feeling neutral. but my dear friends in school made my day so special. (: thanks guys. i so love the 'cake-fight' although i thought i almost killed all of you all. haha. and i love the BIG card that you all made!

my personal zoo. jonathan gave it to me. LOL. i like the elephant and cow.

trackback! on friday night, i almost died when i reach home from cellgroup. at an unearthy hour at about 12.30 am, 5 people were like hiding in my room. and when i opened the door, they screamed,"SURPRISE!" thanks to all of them, i threw my bag somewhere and fell to the ground. say hello to my friends, nicole, dale, jingfa, kaishing and jj. wtb. but i was so happy la. as in, i was surprised. and i felt very loved. ironic, but yeah. you get the point. they got me the crumpler bag i've been eyeing on. mastermind: NICOLE LOU KAY LI. lols. thanks everyone.

and and and. i had my first birthday cake on sunday! dearest cuen baked for me chocolate brownie! it's so delicious i'm telling you, you'll be back for more. it's so pretty and it's a pity that i don't have my camera with me that day. but i love it! (:

and, as i said, i had a cake war today. thanks for stuffing cream up into my nostrils and making me so dirty and sticky people. lol. but i had fun. and i felt loved and encouraged. thanks guys! constance is all set to fight!

yeah. fight, how to when i'm running a fever at this point of time. LOL. so contradictory. i think UCC is cursed. everytime i come back from there, i fall sick. so i predict that i will on thursday. but i'm so gonna drag my ass to school, even if i were to die there, to hear the SYF's results. yeah man. cool. 2 more days. LET'S GO DANCE! we'll make it. :DD

thanks again to everyone from the bottom of my heart. constance is loved.

and.. i thought, hah.

2007-04-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

i just need to blog.

i have been rather stressed out recently, due to a lot of commitments, pressures and expectations. time is running fast away. and seriously speaking, i'm feeling very afraid. dance has been hectic. and i understand why. i totally do. but it's this contradiction that i face. the heart is willing, but the flesh is weak. there is just too much expectations from people around and i'm feeling the pressure. i know this is inevitable. i know pressure improves people. but i am worn out. inside out. i know this will be temporary. and i will press on. definitely. i really hope i'll be able to make time for my loved ones. i don't want to compromise anything, be it friendships or my relationship with god. sometimes, i feel i need to break away. because i really feel like i'm going through this viscious cycle that i will never get out of. and this sucks.

HOLD ON, PRESS ON CONSTANCE.

i just need an outlet. thanks to those people who were standing by me all this while , no matter whether you tried cheering me up or if you listened to my rantings and complaints. you all know who you are. thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

SYF's is in like 22 days. 25th april=d day. i really pray with all my heart that everything will go on smoothly. COME ON FELLOW DANCERS! WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. AND WE WILL WORK TOGETHER TO DO NOT ONLY THE SCHOOL, BUT OURSELVES PROUD! JUST 22 MORE DAYS. LET'S KEEP ON PERSEVERING. WE CAN DO IT. :))

life is not a bed of roses. but i would very much want to plant my roses now.

i know and i know and i know that hardwork pays off.

"Where'd You Go?" - Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but the trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot
Workin' my day around the call
But when I pick up I don't have much to say

So, I want you to know it's a little f*ed up
That I'm stuck here waiting at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile
But now, you only stop by every once and a while
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doin' fine
I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say

And I'll tell you
I want you to know it's a little f*ed up
That I'm stuck here waiting at times debating
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little f*ked up
That I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around
And feeling so useless
It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

and i really remember everything...

2007-03-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

not so good life.

haha. i hope i'm alread getting used to everything thats around me. new class, new faces and all that. but of course i still do miss everyone in OG20(pae) and 07s11(pae). a lot in fact. but its life that one must carry on right? haha. this is not meant to be an emo post. but well, yeah.

i hope calanthea's okay though. take care my dear. we'll all be there for you! (:

i think i seriously need sleep. i'm feeling tired all the time lah. cannot concentrate during lectures, and that's not a good thing. i should really really start studying! yeah. easier said than done.

reply to tags!
caihui: HELLO! haha. tell me about EVERYTHING on friday (:
peiyu: im okay now! thanks for being there! :DD
nicole: TWIN! i'm happy that you like it! haha
lothars: haha! next time i'll call you loud loud!
jolina: :D!
i-ming: YA LA! miss you alread can! pls go out soon!!!
ruey-lin: yes i'm doing well! thanks for caring! (: i miss you all too. when's SYF? maybe we'll go help you all out! :D
calanthea: i love you CAL CAL! (: take care alrights! see you tomorrow!
eunice: oh yes. it did. hahaa!
ben: haiyo. you don't like that la. that time when we multiplied i was sad too! haha. the love's around! lol!
tianlong: don't anyhow say lor! LOL.

i'm in love with this wallet from River Island la. i-ming knows! lols. love it. and and this pair of cool converse sneaks from Leftfoot. i heard it's imported la! nice leh. haha!

Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

cal got me stucked to this song when she played it on her phone the other day. love it.

2007-03-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Rivermaya - You'll Be Safe Here

Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall i be

Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here

2007-03-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

emoness, is killing me.

sometimes i really don't understand myself. i know very well that i shouldn't be allowing myself to fall into the dark pit. yet, i keep seeing myself going towards that direction. i very much want to stop. but i just dunno what to do. history repeats itself. i don't want it to repeat itself.

cherishing is something that one will only learn when one starts losing something/someone. i think i was just being very selfish. and so self-centered to the point where i don't really care how other feels until something happens. and that will probably wake the selfish constance up to see what i've so much caused. i think what i need is a shell. to hide in and live my life in so that, whatever i do, will not cause any hurt to anyone. sometimes, i really envy tortoises and turtles. but then again, that will mean that i'm running away from the problems and refusing to find a solution to it.

oh god, help.

if i've been boring you, i'm so sorry. i just need an outlet to release.

omg. i'm feeling so emo these few days la. and it just gets worse by the day. the more i see and listen, the more i'm emotional.

haha. i'm just used to typing haha after every single line i say.

2007-03-11T16:48:00.000+08:00

just a few days, my blog, or rather my tag-board, has had quite a lot of thing going on.

i wanna reply to tags in my post. cause apparently i feel that it'll be like quite long. lol. here goes.

jolina: YES! i updated! see you soon dearies.
siying: HAHA! yes yes! (:
Passer-By: haha. i like that way you say things. thanks, but don't have to care about passer-by anymore. (: thanks for standing up for me. byt he way, you are?
fiona: see you around! haven been seeing you. thanks!
jun yong: ... hahah.
tianlong: haha. laxing!!
nicholas: oh yes. i'm so in SA. lol.
cherylnn: DARLING! yes pls. meet up soon! (: thanks for standing up for me. i love you!
gj: don't need to care him/her okay? not worth it.. thanks anyway.. i delete your post k? don't want you to expose you number..
justus: what crap la you. haha. full of crap can. ya, try telling the govt that. haha! thanks!
passer-by: your immaturity amazes me. the only reason why you're not using your name is because you know very well yourself that you're talking nonsense. you're so so freaking afraid that people know who you are and condemn you of being a loser. i'm so sorry. with or without name, your still a capital L, loser. get a life and do things that are more productive and constructive. stop wasting my time, everyone else's time and your time. if you're so not happy, or if you hate me so much, jolly well get lost. i don't need some loser around my life to boost my self-worth. thanks, but no thanks.

and to everyone else, continue to tag me! and ignore whoever's creating trouble. (:

i'm back from malaysia. short short short trip. haha. i did my new specs. didn't managed to do funkaye colours cause apparently, my dad says those suck on me. i tried like lime green, yellow and some weird blue. in the end i chose a black full frame. haha. but i like it! my dad says i look nerd in it. :DD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN! don't feel old okay! one more year to CLEO! xD LOL!

going out very soon to go celebrate. i hope she gets surprised with the gift! hahaa.

so i went to school for orientation on friday. OG12, was rather fun actually i think. because i've got cal cal and alicia with me. so i think it was alright. beginning was super sian. then out OG got damn high after that. i was with OG20(PAE) for disco night. the feeling and atmosphere was so different. it was less high, probably due to the fact that xin min wasn't there. MAN, i miss her can. it may be also due to the songs choice also la. so well, got really really emo after that at macs with OG20. cried cried and cried. i think i cried like 10000 buckets. the thought of not having some of themin SA makes me very very sad. ):

OG20: i love you all! you all are the first friends i made in SA, and i really enjoy all the times we had together. those sweet memories and random jokes will always be kept in my heart. as we go our separate ways, i really hope we'll still do lots of catching up okay! i'll be constantly praying for all of you. don't give up okay! miss you all.

there's a war going on at my house now.. i need my bullet vest!

hope everyone's doing fine!

with Him, all things are possible.

2007-03-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

CONSTANCE MAKES HER GRAND ENTRANCE.

hello world. i've been away for so long and i really have a lot of things that i wanna say, because i've been feeling so much these days.

so yes. as you all have already known. posting results were out. and guess what. i was posted to somewhere i least expect myself to have gone to. when i saw the results, i was like OMG, and too shocked and surprised (not in a good way), until i don't really know how i should react to it. BAM. reality hits me. and i didn't expect myself to cry outside the GO. so to whomever who saw the ugly side of constance, i'm sorry.you know, i wasn't really crying because i'm not in SA. that's part of the reason why i did cry. but the major reason as to why i cried, i think, was most probably because of the thought that i wouldn't be able to see my SA mates for a few days, and not only that, miss orientation. i love 07S11, and you guys know it. i miss OG20. and no other OG's gonna replace it. so probably, that was what really triggered the tear glands in me.

this is gonna be mostly an emo post. i'm sorry.

to my loveliest, sweetest 07s11: life in SA will never be the same without you guys. you all cheer me up when i'm down; when i cry, you all cry with me, when i laught, you guys laugh harder. everyone of you all has a special place in my heart. we do crazy things together (remember the sms we sent to miss sim? :D), get scolded for ponning class/lecs together. you all make me love SA so much more. i feel that we're not only a class, we've become a family. i would never ever trade anything for the time we had together as a class. i'll miss you all so so so much. for some of us, if we're not in the same class anymore, please make sure that you won't forget me (write my name on your mirror or something). and for those whom i will be with in the same class, 2 more wonderful years together (and i'm sorry if you were wishing you would be in a different class as me. :P). I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL LIKE TRUCKLOADS, PLANELOADS SHIPLOADS.

well, i'm really feeling very emo these days. went for orientation in a foreign school i rather not go yesterday. and let me tell you, its rather boring and senseless. my heart was in SA, come on. but of course, i made some new friends, who actually made me life a little better over there. guess what. the school actually make the J1s go for this leadership course during the orientation. and they actually have to pay for it. OMG. thank god i'm so out of that place.

i have so many randome misses. I MISS TWIN! I MISS I-MING! I MISS N371! I MISS OG20! I MISS 07S11 (1ST INTAKE)! I MISS 4E406!

aww..

i need to change blogskin. although i really like tw previous one a lot. haha.

anyway, i decided to give orientation in SA a miss, cause i was feeling so sick in the morning. BAH. i hate that sick feeling. it makes you lie on the bed and not move for like 25498752313 hours. i'll go SA tomorrow okay! make sure all you people i miss come!!!! DISCO NIGHT. we're gonna rock the place down. :DDDD

and and and. during the days of my hibernation (from blogger), i took lots and lots of pictures! nice pictures. (:

pretteh pictures eh. poised! (:

and i so love this song now. no one's gonna stop me from typing the lyrics here.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

emo.

by the way, say hi to my tag board.

2007-02-17T21:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA! ((: my phone got quite screwed. i can't send anything out with my phone. i had to change sim card to my brother's phone larrr. so hope you like see this okay! :D

anyway, its gonna be lunar new year soon. in erm.. about two and a half hours time. i don't actually have the very cny mood. kinda dead this year.i didn't get any new clothes either. i'll make up for it after cny! LOL!

went for dinner with my dearest yesterday. wanted to catch a movie. but it was like sold out. so we rented a room instead and watched 'John Tucker Must Die'. i watched that before, but i didn't mind watching it again cause it was seriously hell funny. its like worse than mean girls. haha!

school had been rather predictable, although sometimes there's surprises. i still love 07s11 so much. i'll prolly cry when 6th march comes. i never want to change my environment now lar. it'll take me a long time to get used to it all over again.

i'm feeling emo now. whatever it is, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2007-02-10T08:21:00.000+08:00

i have decided to blog finally, after 23859406972 years. probably due to the release of 'o' level results. i think i did pretty bad. well, what i can say is, i feel quite disappointed with myself and what i had gotten. everyone else around me kept on telling me that it's a fine score, and that i did pretty good already. maybe because i didn't meet my own expectations that i had for myself. that's why this is hitting me so hard. sometimes i really don't know whether expecting something is a bad thing or a good one. when you achieved your expectation, your self-confidence gets boosted. but when you don't, you fall hard, really hard.

putting that aside, i'm so happy for my fellow friends who did very well.
stephanie, i'm so happy happy happy for you! ((: stay in SA okay?! if not, i'll kill you!
i-ming, don't worry so much already okay! in my eyes you did very very well! i'm so so proud of you already.
andrea, you smart girl. i always knew that you could do it! (:
cherylnn, you did well already! dont keep thinking of it okay?! you got my dream score. haha.
michelle, you did a great job! pray about where to go alrights! :D

...and a lot a lot of other people. everyone did well. :DD

so yeah. i'm happy for everyone. haha. updates!

1. i got super a lot of bruises and blisters after going for dance practices. the seniors said that i have to get used to it. haha.

2. stephanie came back from canada, to join me in school!

3. i was posted to 07s11. and apparently, i LOVE the class, like crazy. we are a family! ((:

4. i walked the whole 3.6km for cross country. =X

5. i officially pon my first maths lecture to practice dance. HOHO.

6. i wore ij and cedar's uniforms.

7. we (07s11) took crazy pictures. i'll upload them once i get them from the peeps.

8. had many many crazy dinner dates with i-ming! (:

9. finally get to meet up cher!

10. i screwed my chem test, like seriously.

11. i fell in love with the small but expensive crumpler bag, and a black puma duffle.

12. i developed photos!

13. i'll be having class bbq on monday, and then og bbq on tuesday. x)

14. i need to meet steph up to do THE STUFF.

15. i gave up on my stupid creative mp3. it refueses to switch itself on.

16. my parents have decided to get me an ipod! OMG.

17. i have to go for dance practice now.

thats all! (: take care everyone.

2007-01-07T16:08:00.000+08:00

i was talking to twin today. and she showed me how much her appearance have changed over the years. i was pretteh amazed by it eh. i didn't actually even realised it, probably due to the fact that i see her almost everyday. i didn't believe the picture she sent me was acutally her. the magnitude of my unbelief was like HUGE. but this really triggers me to think.

change.

i definitely believe that people do change over time, because of different situations, circumstances and even people. i remember once, twin told me about her friend who was a really nice person a few years ago, charming and of good character. a few years later, he got into wrong company, and even learnt how to smoke and drink. some people change for the better, some people change for the worse. that's the true hard reality we all have to accept. people do change whether we like it or not..

how do i accept change when i don't even know how i will be like after that?

well, on a lighter note, i managed to get the pictures for Oscars D & D from eunice bb! like i've said, it was a blast and i enjoyed myself. let the pictures do the talking.

i really really love all these people. ((((:

anyway, school has been great! had lotsa fun. by the way, OG20 is like way cool, and like the best people around! and of course nermelha is like the most outstanding kingdom ever. i love them love them love them. HAHA. the beginning of the first day was rather odd. i guess all of us just can't get used to the unfamiliar surroundings.then it got better an better. OG20 became like super united and super invincible. YEAH! i made new friends that have made my orientation a really enjoyable one.

the second day, we had mass dance. it was pretteh fun! LOL. we also had outdoor games which i think bonded OG20 very well. we had dinner at plaza sing after that.

the third day was like more camera whoring and more fun with the peeps! we painted like glass candle holders. and i really love the one xinmin and i painted.

we had disco night for finale. it was HOT. hahaha! all of us had lotsa fun dancing and running around. had supper with some of the peeps at macs after the finale.

school is cool, because of these people. awaiting school tomorrow! ((: it'll be good. i wanna get the college t-shirt!!! :D

a family unbroken. saints forever.

2006-12-31T01:13:00.000+08:00

latest updates! JEFFREY WON PROJECT RUNWAY!!! good good good. i love his designs! esp the zipper dress.
cool eh? i love it!!! i like wanna buy it la pls. but apparently, this is impossible. well, i'll try to look for something like that, which i also think is impossible. i kinda like that green!

okay. its like 1:17 am on the last day of 2006. and this should be the last time i'm blogging before we all step into 2007. i would not say this year has been a smoth sailing one i should say. but definitely, god has indeed proved himself to be faithful and i have definitely seen his goodness in my life. through ups and downs, he has never left me. so the first person i must thank is god almighty. i'm believing him for a greater year ahead. a greater year of growth, expansion, stepping out!

Nicole twinnie: words really cannot describe how much i love you my dear! you may not know, but you've definitely impacted me and my life tremendously. thanks for all the encouragement you gave me during my o' levels. i really really appreciate it and it has also lifted my spirit during the difficult times. you've always been there for me, helping me go on in this tough time. i love you, from the bottom of my heart. (:

Theresa babe: hey! we known each other for a year now! it's funny how we even became really close friends when in the first place we didnt liked each other! (: but god definitely has his way of bring people together. thanks for the encouragement you gave me and for all the times you praised me!

Joyous perfection: thanks guys! i'll always remember our hectic dance practice schedule and vigorous damnce practices! the times whenwe trained to the last monute we have at NYP. and man, you guys know how much you've helped me grown, spiritually, physically and emotionally. i would not say that we do not have arguments. but i thank god that everytime we fall, we pick ourselves, stand up once again and move on to a higher level. thank you so so much. dance practice soon yeah? (:

Dale Charlie: hey! it's funny how we all actually became friends. but the friendship that i have with you is definitely what i hold close to my heart. i will not forget my mission! (: thanks for everything and also for the things you've done for me. i really appreciate it. thank you!

Jingfa mai ham: haha! thanks for perking my days up. i still remember the day when we known each other, that was your birthday! i really appreciate the friendship. thanks for the times when you encouraged me and helped me. you've been of great help. (:

JJ: please ah. i say a lot of times already. GIVE ME YOUR CAMERA. not the brochure hor pls. haha! thanks for all the times you've helped me. just want to let you know that you've made a difference in my life. i treasure our friendship a lot, so make sure you do too! (: remember ah, camera. HAHA.

Tim, Nick and Lucus: thanks for the friendship and the company! you've all been really really good and great brothers who i know i can count on. 2007 will be another great year for all of us. we'll continue to keep in touch. movie soon! :D

N371: hello fellow cell mates! i love you all! although we've been in the same cell group for only a short while, you've all impacted me a lot through the love you all have for me, and also of course, for god. thanks for caring for me for the slightest things. and we're gonna have more baking lessons right? and not forgetting, MONOPOLY @ Cuen's. :D thanks you so much for your love.

ex.W355: hey peeps! i'll never forget the times we have, taking crazy pictures. our bond is definitely very strong indeed. and i believe that the lord will continue to keep us in his love. i really thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart. you've all made me grow so much. thank you, one and all.

eunice baobei: :DD blur sotong! haha! thank you for your friendship. you've been a great friend, someone i know that i can always count on. you'll always be the one going crazy and mad with me on msn. THANK YOU! stay pretty and strong in the kingdom of god. :D

i-ming dearest: thanks for the christmas card! didn't thank you properly. but you know i'm sincere right? i wll never forget the times when we crapped and talkeed our way till school ends. sitting together with you had been such great fun! you're the only one who would destress with me my being overly crazy, like having an imaginery friend Amy, whom we claimed that marwin killed her by sitting on her. LOL!!! thanks your for cam whoring with me too! life has been so fun with you! lunch date soon yeah?! :)

sarene and heidi: my girls! thanks for everything all these while. your love for me has definitely touched my heart. i really love you all! though we may be going separate ways, but i know we'll alwasy keep in touch and have lunch dates too right?! you all have made a difference in my life! school is never boring with you all! all the best for the year ahead!

Stephanie mrs KJH: hey! you'll not know how much i enjoyed your company and friendship! thanks for everything. remember all the times when we think about the same thing constantly? we have to get used to saying the exact same thing to each other at the very same time! i thank god so much that i'm in the same school as you. school will be fun. trust me! (: i love you!

4e4'06: all of you don't know how much i love this class! ponning lessons together, making a fool out of ourselves together, or creating trouble together. i really enjoyed the times. you've been the best class i've ever had! let's continue to keep in touch, because all of you mean a lot to me. (:

Guan Jie: we've been through so much. though things may be different now, but i just want you to know that i really appreciate the friendship that we have. and it'll be a waste to give it all up now. thanks for literally, everything. all the best for 2007.

Cherylnn: my dear! it's been almost 4 years since we known each other! thanks for your company and for always believing in me. with you, i know that i can do it! thank you so much! though our path may be different now, i believe, like what you've said, our paths will definitely meet again. love love!

Vanessa: princess! stay pretty and strong ya? thank you so much for everything! you may not know it, but i know that i can always relate to you. work hard! i believe 2007 will be another great year for you.

Andrea: the one who always shock us with the most unbelivable news! haha! thanks for taking care of me to the best of your ability! be sure to meet up even after we all move on to JCs okay. don't always only aaron aaron aaron ah!! must have constance constance constance too! (: take care dearest!

Shuhan: your love for dance has definitely impacted me a lot. keep dancing!!! and maybe we should go for lessons together sometime to catch up alrights? haven been seeing you!!! take good care of yourself, and take you own stand. create your own future! ((:you know what i mean.

Michelle Ma: STOP LOSING WEIGHT BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK FAT! hahah! take good care of yourself okay? you know that i love you! keep walking with the lord and i believe he'll bless you back. don't give up on this journey! all will turn out good for those who love Him! Cheer up yah!

anyone whom i missed out: you've been great! and i know you've definitely impacted me in a way or another. thank you so much for 2006.

i truely believe that 2007 will be the best year yet! STEPPING OUT. :DDDD

goodbye 2006, hello 2007.

love, constance. <3

2006-12-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

probably, that's what you wanted. from the very very start. well, constance is just proven to be so so so stupid, once again. i should have known. right? i should have. anyway, the bottom line is that your wish is granted. all the best.

------------
maybe, you just didn't see it.

anyway, oscars dinner and dance was a blast! baobei and me kept on taking pictures like nobody's business. pictures up another day i guess. i'm just not in the mood now.

will be going down to zhonghua to get my good progress award. but i'll give it all to building fund. (: i believe he'll definitely provide for me.

its a very random post, because currently i just don't really feel like doing anything at all. and the feeling sucks, if you know what i mean.

ARG! i just need to get away. like to hawaii. or maybe to phuket, where i can find all the peace and serenity i've always been looking for. or probably, be stranded on an unknown island with no modes of communication at all, like being on exile island in survivor if you would want a comparison. maybe i'm just tired.

well, school's starting, which means a EVEN MORE hectic schedule. like ballet lessons, dance practices, school. i better find myself back, before i get lost in the scary crowd.

i'm afraid. very afraid in fact.

2006-12-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD! MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

i always believe that Christmas is not just about buying gifts, giving gifts. Neither is it about Santa Claus, nor Rudolf the red-nose reindeer. But definitely, it is about Jesus. the first gift that was ever given was when God gave his son to the world on christmas. that explains why we exchange or buy gifts for one another. many times, we just oversee the main reason for this extra special season. i've always loved christmas. ((:

i-ming's coming back soon! i'm happy about that. muaha.i hope she'll be able to make it for oscars dinner and dance a.k.a thanksgiving cg. steph wanted to come! but she's overseas till 10th jan next year.

the invitation cards. nice right? i made it. (: and am proud of it! anyone interested, please contact me! it'll be good.

anyway, i'm in the same school as steph for first three months! thank god for her. at least we have each other! even if no one else from zhonghua's going there (which i doubt so la..)

it's getting late. miss constance better get to bed because she has to wake up at 8 tomorrow and she highly suspects that she will oversleep if she continues to stay awake.

SO, CIAOS EVERYONE.

p/s: i deleted the tag board, cause there's just not enough room for it. well, i hope the comment thing works. or else, be patient! i'll fix it soon.

meanwhile, thanks for the love!

3 months only.. i was so stupid.

2006-12-20T19:49:00.000+08:00

me and dad, before take-off.
on the way there..
we were bored, you see. (:

dinner on our first day.

they sell sprite in bottles. cute eh.breakfast on second day!view from the 77th floor of my hotel. (: pretteh nice sight.

meet the folks.1

at chadtuchak!

all of us again.xD

ice cream @ swensens! 59 baht only. which is like about 2 sing dollars!taken from the plane by me. beautiful right? (:
nice.

i sacrificed my sleep in the plane just for this. enjoy. :Dtill then. ((:

2006-12-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK! muahaha.

blogger deleted my nicely typed entry. -.-

i was thinking of what to blog about my thai trip. because what i did was practically, shopping, shopping, shopping and more shopping. until the fourth day, when something unfortunate happened.

what happened was my family and my mum's friends wanted to have seafood for dinner. we decided to go to SOMBOON seafood restaurant, as that's what my mum's customer recommended. so we took 2 cabs. and happily ate and when the bill came, guess what? 11, 000 baht which amounts to about 500 singapore dollars. HEAVILY OVERCHARGED. so we were unhappy and we tried to talk things out with the people, but we end up quarrelling cause their attitude really sucks. then we realised that in the first place, we were brought to the wrong restaurant. instead of SOMBOON, we were brought to SOMBOONDEE. so from the very start, we were cheated and misled by the taxi drivers. and later on we found out from my mum's customer that, the drivers will actually get commission for bringing us there. so fuming, we went to complain and stuff lor. well. really bad experience.

whoever's going bangkok in the near future, please do not patronise SOMBOONDEE. and always make sure that you're driven to the right place. lesson learnt.

the counterfeit reataurant.

but i feel that the trip was okay, quite enjoyable. of course, except for that part. pictures!

at chadtuchak weekend market!
i love daddy! at the hotel.

more pictures soon. blogger's stuck.

goodnight world.

2006-12-14T13:05:00.000+08:00

i'm currently at the airport now! muahaha. have to wait for quite long for the boarding.

i woke up early, at 8.oo am to check my posting results. be surprised, because if you know constance well enough, she doesn't wake up that early. well, i'm having mixed feelings about it la. but of course i will try my best to appeal to a better school. but if all doesn't turn out well, then i'll just have to stick with what i have. i'm not totally disappointed. actually, i sort of saw it coming. so i just probably, go with the flow and see what happens.

i-ming, i know how you feel. don't worry about it alrights. all will be good. i believe. (: see you soon my dear.

i know waiting is a very hard thing to do. very very hard. i have to wait approximately about 1 hour for boarding. -.-

i'll miss everyone! i'm serious.

till then. lots of love, constance. :D

2006-12-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

muahaha. hello everyone. i'm blogging because my dearest eunice asked me to, before i fly off to thailand! haha.

well, in about less than 8 hours time, i am going to receive results of my posting. i'm half excited, and half afraid. i-ming said humans can feel excited and afraid at the same time. so that's probably what i'm feeling now. i definitely prepared myself for the worst. yes. humans are also sometimes quite passive.

i-ming's a very cute character. i'm telling you. haha! :DD

thailand in 12 hours time. anticipating what will happen. anyway, i haven been on an air plane for quite a long time. so. yup. i think i most probably update again when i'm back. so take good care everyone! (:

2006-12-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

you know? i just seriously cannot stand some people. go around spreading rumours, and then hide behind the curtains and pretend nothing has happened. hypocritical. c'mon la. act your age please. don't have to act like some worm and try to bad mouth others behind their backs. get a life, if you don't have one. call yourself a matured human being. not even close. yes i know. the world's at fault. only you are right. the whole world is wrong. i know i'm not in any position to say all these, but at least i don't do things that go against my conscience. right, jerry?

wtb.

well. life has been pretty good to me. found a job at oriental. if everything goes well, should be starting work this coming monday. ricky, the banquet manager, is somewhat scary and demanding. but i think he isn't that bad, minusing that fact that he speaks with vulgarities all over the place. he is very particular about attire, and he wants me to spray my hair black when i come to work. oh wells. haha. thank god for my mum.i don't have to spend money to buy skirts for work. xD

i finished full house. someone please clap! okay. i know i'm kinda slow. but hey. rejoice for me. i chionged it. love it love it. thanks to steph! who was the one who really made me watch it. i've been saying i wanna watch i wanna watch. but was just too lazy to go borrow from someone. but yes! i finally finished it. and i really miss it now. i needa watch new drama serials! like now.

anyway, my hair colour faded. but, yeah, it's okay.just a few more weeks. then poof! it'll be gone.

i seriously can't wait for my thailand trip on 14th! cher darling is leaving tomorrow! i wanna leave like now. !!! i really need to do cheap shopping. i shall do up my 'things-to-buy' list soon.

random random. i actually have so much to say. but i just don't know how to put in down in words. oh well.

i miss i-ming, sarene and heidi! i miss ex-cg. i miss 4e4'06. i miss dancing. aww.

4e4 peeps! next wednesday we're having an outing! please sms/msn me for details! it's gonna be good. xD see y'all!

love.

2006-11-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

i am totally upset about what someone has said. being a hypocrite is one thing, trying to gain new friends at the expense of older friends is another. i really cannot stand the things he've said or done. he is an ultimate loser. be a man, do the right thing man.

yeah.

anyway, back to some happy stuff. i finally watched step up! and i am seriously in love with CHANNING TATUM! i went to the extend of starting a new folder to put all his pictures. AHH. he's way to hot.

omg. pardon me. he is seriously too good. steph was saying, being good looking is good, but knowing how to dance is a bonus. and i tell you, he can dance man! xD aww.

seriously getting broke. dfs doesn't want to hire due to some unforseen circumstances. so, most probably working at a hotel. but first, gotta go for interview. hope everything goes well, so that i can earn money!

my room is looking kinda neat now. thanks to my mum! ((: i love her.. haha.

off! goona watch full house! RAIN!!! :DD

2006-11-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

w355 finally multiplied.. since i don't really have the chance to thank each and everyone of you guys, i'll do it here. it's gonna be a long entry. and i really hope i don't end up crying again. haha.

SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO W355.

this past one year has definitely been a great year together with all of you guys. this multiplication, like what i've said in the video, is not the end but a new beginning for all of us. the times we had together cannot be erased. and i will cherish all the friendships i've made with you all. i love all of you. take good care in your new cell groups alright. miss y'all. (:

wenshan: words cannot describe how thankful i am to you. thank you so so much for your understanding and love. you are very different from the rest of the leaders and i really appreciate whatever you've done for all of us. i will always remember the CD you burnt for us, the results sheet you printed and of course the little moments we share. i love you a lot! don't forget our europe trip with you future husband and kids in 10 years time. i'll remember you, always.

susan: i've been in the same cell group as you since we were under faith. and i really thank you for your love and care that you've shown towards me. this coming year, we'll still be in the same cell group. let's continue to help each other along the way! thank you for your friendship.

gina: hey girl! i'll pray for you everyday that you'll keep growing taller and taller! :p thank you so much for everything you've done for me. although we would be going different paths, i'll always remember the times we spent together. thanks so much.

benjamin: i'll make sure someone pinch and scold you in your new cell group. don't worry. haha. it has been great knowing you, and discovering the gay side of you. all you jokes and actions had certainly brightened my day. thank you for your friendship.

zhen guo: stop worrying! you'll grow white hair! haha. take good care of yourself. and stop complaining that your palms are getting rougher and rougher. -.-" see you around in church alrights? don't give up. (:

tian long: you can continue sending me songs! i don't mind. but send me nice ones lar. haha. you'll be in a different zone le. must take good care. dont crumble alright? be strong! things will get better. we'll still be able to see each other in church. thanks for everything.

aaron: haven seen you recently. how's everything? as we move on to different cell groups, i'll pray that you're love for god will never fade away. we'll see u hair-less in two weeks time! take care.

michelle: my darling. don't be too upset over this alright? must trust the leadership. i believe you'll definitely grow more in the lord. don't think too much already okay? remember what you've promised me? must try. cause i feel that it's the best this way. take care sweetie.

qi xuan: hello my laughin partner! xD i'll always remember you as the cheerful and fun loving girl. stay that way alrights? continue to sow in the kingdom of god. i'll miss you a lot! though i don't have a lot of chances to interact with you, i believe we'll still be friends that will last. i love you!

anna: princess! haha. you're very cute you know? continue to grow in your cell okay? i'll miss you and your crap a lot! all the best for your o levels! keep smiling! (:

chole: cutie pie! haha. your blur-ness really cheers me up. (: stay sweet okay? i'll remember you! don't always give in to people okay? don't get bullied! must learn to fight! love you!

rachel: getting prettier by the day ah! haha. take good care of yourself! although i'm not really very close to you, but i know the friendship is definitely there. remember me, as i remember you. (:

samuel: you're so cute! i'll pray for you everyday and i believe you can definitely get into ACSI! have more confidence in yourself! and must learn to speak up okay? take care.

poh meng: man of god! you'll be security one, don't worry! haha. although you've not been long in church, you have already grown a lot! so continue growing and serving the lord. i'll see you in church!

ryan: mr chef! pls cook for me okay! soon soon. study hard. i know you'll definitely make it to you culinary course! i'll be waiting for the day when you'll become a great chef. xD i believe in you. thanks for everything.

jerry: you really come and go like wind. stay in the house of god alright? be the guitarist for your cell group! you're really good. take care.

darius: will still be in the same cell group as you. o actually don't really know what to say. but have more confidence in yourself okay? and think befor acting everything okay?

terrence: forever mia. haha. continue to come for service alrights? looking forward to seeing you! all the best.

w355, sincerely, from my heart, thank you so much for all the love, care and concern. i believe we'll all be friends for life, and of course in eternity. (: i love love love all of you guys. take care and everyone. all the best.

LOVE, CONSTANCE.

2006-11-22T13:57:00.000+08:00

went for my interview on monday with twin! the DFS office is seriously intimidating. i was trying my best not to make any sound when walking with my heels. well, sammy, the HR manager, was speaking really really fast, as though a memorised script. but yeah, i hope i'll get the job. it'll mean another source of income for building fund! :D

i enjoyed myself. i always enjoy myself when i'm with twin. xD

i love elmo! hahah. tai-tai to be. LOLguess who?! xD

headed for class chalet after that. i-ming came to pick me up! so sweet of her. ((:

4e4's chalet's a BLAST, i didn't try to miss it with some lame and unbelievable excuses. :D

at th e beach. (:

i-ming littered! she threw that ribena packet. tsk tsk. beach pollution!

and in the night, our chalet turned into a gambling den.mahjong, tai tee, etc. 3 stations set up. LOL. and i can't believe that i-ming won like 10 times in a row. gambling queen ah!

taken on the road. ;)

the whole lot of us went to watch the sunrise. aww. sweet. :D

i totally love this pic. xD

BBQ was hot hot hot! haha. ate so much. and we really did drank quite a lot as well. but it was nice! i love 4e4. :)) so our next 4e4 outing will be at kbox? LOL.

tomorrow i'll be having combined cell meeting at minds cafe! friday i'll be going to cut and dye my hair with steph darl. so yup. it'll be cool. :)

till then.

2006-11-18T01:20:00.000+08:00

o levels are so over! and that's really good. that means i would have more time for myself and i would not have to stuck myself with books day in, day out. i'm happy that its over. and i don't want to worry about my results and stuff now. maybe i will, next year. but not now. anyway, nothing can be done already. so, no use dwelling on it right? yeah. i figured that out. now what bothers me most is where i'm gonna go for my first three months. given my results, i don't really have many choices. but well, we'll make do with it.

during this tough period of studying, i'm really glad to have been supported by my parents and friends. my mum's really sweet. she would write encouragements on small pieces of paper and put them on my table. my dad never fails to ask about my paper everyday. twin, dale and jf actually took the trouble to come all the way to my house just to encourage me and pass me mugging helpers. they came at the right time, when i was alread feeling discouraged and stuff. i just really want them to know that i really appreciate it. and i'm very touched by their small little acts. thanks guys! (: and of course, w355 and other friends for all the prayers! also, i-ming, sarene and heidi for helping so much in school. most of all, god for all the favour and directions.

well. besides the o levels, i'm seriously falling deeper into this korean goong craze. and i seriously need to redeem myself. if not i'll really die. and i was telling twin how i felt, and guess what. she felt exactly like me. she's sublimating together with me. we are like trapped in this. thank god, we're trapped together. :D LOL. how. HOW! someone tell me.

anyway, i'll be going carrefour tomorrow. yeah. for the chalet stuff.

i seriously need to lock myself away from goong. and all the songs.

AHHH.

2006-10-21T11:39:00.000+08:00

GRADUATION DAY.

i can't believe how time has passed all of us so quickly. bam. 4 years gone. and now we're all saying our goodbyes. i get very sad when i think that 4e4's not going to sing the school song together, or sit together in class for lessons anymore. one part of me wants to move on to see what's gonna happen next after secondary school life, the other part of me wants to stay in this forever? like what amanda said, members of the Breakfast Club, had to come back for dinner. (although we don't exactly know what she mean, but we get the idea.) everything good thing comes to an end. 4e4 will all be moving on, to different paths, different goals in life. our paths will definitely meet again! if it doesn't, we'll make it meet somehow. haha. i'll miss everyone! and all the nonsense and fun we had these years. as we all move on, all the best to each and everyone. we'll still meet up, for lunch or something. haha.

last lap everyone! we can do it! (:

zhss is the place where i met friends that i know, will last for a lifetime. its a place filled with fond memories. and it's hard to let all of these go. but, we all gotta move on. and that's what all of us will, eventually.

i will definitely miss all these people. they have already become part of my life. i will always hold the memories that we have close to my heart. as we all move on, remember me! remember how we used to be. :D

ciaos zhss.

2006-10-06T15:16:00.000+08:00

it has been a million years since i touched my lappy.

i've been studying! yeahh. don't give me that face of unbelief. i guess the prelims really woke me up. time to work harder constance! (:

well. life's been rather good, sitting with i-ming. we crack each other up. i guess we're just too stressed out. because apparently, we just keep laughing for no reason at all. YEAHH. COOLLL. xD

i miss so many people. and i'm alread thinking and panning on what to do right after o's.
#1: have enough sleep. =x
#2: enjoy 4e4's chalet + prepare the food
#3: WORK and earn moneh!
#4: movies with i-ming
#5: sneakers-painting with stephanie
#6: ikea trip with stephanie
#7: exercise
#8: shopping spree
#9: tanning with twin
#10: dance with joyous perfection!
#11: return for ballet lessons
#12: OSCHOOL
#13: find time to hang out with those i've neglected because of o's
#14:

i left #14 blank because i'll still be thinking about what i wanna do, constantly. :D

i seriously hate doing papers. they come like all at the same time. and we have to finish all before our study leave. and that's pretty bad, because the papers just keeps coming in, which is horribly irritating.

i love american idol, taylor's song. i listen to it every morning. haha.

oh. i ordered my birkins alread! happy happy. i hope it comes soon.

i know this is getting so random. i can't seem to find anything to say anymore.

so ciaos! :D

2006-09-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

HADY MIRZA WON!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

i'm so happy for him! he deserves it! yesterday he sang so well lar. and he look so hot. i was melting at home. he is so versatile and i was rooting for him from the start!

yay. i'm happy happy.

anyway, results of prelims were really really bad. for me la. i really don't think i can make it for the first three months. really upset with myself actually. but what to do. life is full of challenges and obstacles.

i really hope i can do it for the o levels la. if not, ... (fill in the blanks yourself.)

well, life has been good. twin's has been complicating. LOL.

i love this picture. haha. currently, my wallpaper. muaha.

random random. i wanna get new clothes and heels and pumps and accessories! haha.

i miss joyous perfection. xD

2006-09-22T14:11:00.000+08:00

apparently, i'm blogging now because i'm waiting for my hair to dry so that i can sleep, before going cg. -.-

let's see. i went out with steph yesterday! haha. we watched Jon Tucker Must Die. its seriously freaking funny. we were falling off our seats la. it's so much worse than mean girls! haha! i enjoyed it, totally! be sure to catch it! xD

yup. then we went to check out our birkins. we just wanted to make sure that our sizes are correct because the other time we tried, we weren't really sure. but, in the end, we still decided to get the sizes we tried the first time round. haha! i highly suspect that the birkins (florida ethno black patent) that i wanted is no longer manufactured la.. that's why they say its not available and stuff on the website. which is so @#$%&! i'll most probably get the same design but the other colour instead. how irritating. yeah. i know. we gotta learn to navigate in life, which is always against us.

"will you love me in the morning?"

i wanna watch Click again. but i've promised i-ming to bring it for her on monday. before i get killed by her. HAHA.

anyway, today we were supposed to do this hike thing at matritchie. not all the graduating classes, but specifically, only e2, us and 5n1. it was hell hot. and we were sweating pratically at the start of the hike. which is a bad thing. we walked for like almost 235897431234 kilometres before reaching this place where we were able to climb up to get a really great view from above. but the climbing up was awful. we had to go round and round. almost puked la. and my legs were wobbly when we finally reached the top. but, the view's there really good. (: take a look!

we look like we're in genting highlands. haha! =x

i was preparing to jump. HAHA.

erm. someone decided to end his/her life. what a place. haha!

and, all thanks to mr keong, we were so called 'trespassers'. short-cut, yeah right. thanks. so irresponsible la.

oh yes. something funny happened in the bus while we were going there. we were like short of two people la in the bus, hui ming and samantha. then we were already at braddel road! so amanda shouted for them. and unfortunately, couldn't find then in the bus. so the whole class was like quite shocked. like,"what the heck?" but in the end, we found out that they went for the botanic trail instead. then everyone was like, "CHEY." haha! my class so cute. :D

it looks like there's 'someone' between benjamin and winghim. so funny. haha.

anyway, i think i gotta go catch some sleep before i really fall asleep durinf sermon. =x

do support this project. light your candles! (: http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/

tatas! :DD

2006-09-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

CONTENTMENT.

sometimes, we all look at someone else in our lives, maybe a class mate, or just an aquaintance, and we start to envy what they have. i've realise that contentment, being contented and happy with what i have, is very important. i don't have to have the best thing in the world. and even having the best, may not mean i'm living a happy life. happiness comes when you learn how to be contented.

and i'm learning, everyday of my life.

i read twin's blog, and i was just thinking about meeting expectations in life. expectations from parents, expectations from friends, and even expectations from ourselves. sometimes, when we're unable to meet them, we fall hard. and, we not only receive disappointments from those around us, but also from ourselves. then, comes another challenge, another chance for us to prove ourselves. what will you do?

what will i do?

just some train of thoughts. ((:

on a happy note, prelims are so over! and i'm holiday tomorrow, because all the e1s and e2s are having practical. ALL THE BEST PEEPS! xD

the end is drawing near.. and that made me cherish those people around me in zhonghua even more! because, you'll never know what will happen 5 years from now, or maybe i should say, 6 months later. i may lose contact with the people in zhonghua. and eventually, everyone goes their separate ways. when will our paths meet again?

ohh well. project runway now! gotta run! ((:

2006-09-17T12:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes i know i am really very fickle minded. i decided to change my mind, and buy this birkins instead.

can't help it. caught my eye at the store when i went there to try my size with steph. i asked dad about it. and he said buying this would be a better choice cause its a neutral colour. moreover, i see a lot of people wearing the design that i previously wanted. so i don't actually really want it anymore.. ): haha. but well. only change is constant.

i am wondering, why am i online now?! i should be studying and trying my best to finish up my pile of tuition homework. yeah yeah. i know. procrastination. -.-

ohh. and i currently love this esprit watch. have been wanting to get it. trying to get dad to ask him friend for discount. and most probably, try to persuade my parents. MUAHA.

exams make me super stress. i needa destress!

twin!!! dinner sometime soon alright. it has been long since we had dinner! xD

LOVE, constance.

2006-09-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

this is going to be a very very veryyyy long post, taking into consideration that i've not blogged for almost a week now.. bear with me alrights.

its raining cats and dogs and fishes and cows and pigs and whatever now. and i usually don't carry an umbrella around. so guess what? i got drenched in the rain. -.-

my msn is having some problems now. oh well.

anyway, i have learnt some lessons from my prelims.

#1: bring a jacket into the examination room. sometimes the air-con is so cold, you can hardly write.

#2: always bring a mathematical set (that has a compass, set-square and potractor that is) whenever you go for a mathematics examination.

#3: never dwell on a question for too long. or else, pay the consequences.

#4: don't be too panicky and nervous. calm down as much as possible.

#5: try not to drink too much water befor the examination. if not, one hour later, your bladder starts to call for help.

thats about it.

constance says goodbye to first three months in JC. i thought having one science was bad enough. now i know there's something worse than that. that is to screw that subject's paper up as well. my chemistry paper is really a gone case. i didn't manage to finish the paper! although i am very sure i know how to answer the questions. ARG! how irritating.

don't cry over spilled milk.

yada yada yada. i know i rant a lot. but i really can't help it.

now that the three months thing is gone, i really don't know what to do. i wanted to try out JC life for like a few months before deciding where to go. at first i was so sure about going to a polytechnic. until sis shumei came to have a talk with me about my future lah. so she kind of cause me to think much further than the stress factor. frankly speaking, even if i go to a polytechnic, i wouldn't know what to take. visual communications? fashion design? business?

talking about design, project runway season three's next wednesday! like so fast. the last episode of season two was like last week. goody. project runway makes me wanna be a fashion designer. yeah. i know it's not easy. cause you gotta have all the ideas and inspirations and all. but hey, its fun and nice to wear self-designed clothes. because what you make, is what you like.

i really like the dress chole made. the blue one. aww.

TWIN. i miss you so much. i'm gonna hug you till you can hardly breathe. see you tomorrow love! xD

anyway, gotta go!

2006-09-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

woohoo! back from a rather long break.

nothing much has happened actually.

oh yes. van darl's steamboat party was a blast. i had so much fun! xD we were practically laughing while walking around the arcade. i bet the people in there were looking at us as though we were mad or something.

okay. i look really sick in this picture. but van loves it. as quoted from her blog. van! i like yours too! you look FIERCE! x)

"money or life?!" ((:

and we did what most people wouldn't have thought of doing.

yeah. we took pictures on the roads. -.- but hey. it's exciting.

"BIKE BIKE! CAR CAR! BUSSSSSS!"

x) only people who were present know what i mean.

by the way, i got my red puma jacket already! thanks steph! and dad! hehs. the date with steph was fun! and erm.. satisfying? we did almost everything on our to-do list. :D

weekends are still as packed as ever. hardly have anytime to breathe. but hey, although its tiring to go for 2 services a week, i wouldn't compromise anything for it.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."

i did some editing with photoshop.and i'm pretty glad with my final product.

i did this from a photograph i took from the papers. (: nice eh?

anyhoos. thanks my dear twin for the little encouragement. you don't know how much it helped! ((:

i am feeling the pressure. prelims are here.

2006-09-05T14:18:00.000+08:00

my blog's getting interesting. or should i say, i'm getting pissed.

i really seriously can't be bothered anymore la. a few times, i'll entertain, not 129874506 pages of my tagboard. it's getting on my nerves. my blog is not a place for you to find trouble, make trouble etc. seriously, why not u create a blog for yourself, and satisfy yourself, by tagging your own blog? you'll create less discomfort and displeasure.

http://www.blogger.com there you go.

sometimes, i get so irritated. i can't really be bothered anymore.

apparently, it's raining now. it was so freakingly hot outside just a while ago. it's amazing how fast things change now.

got to know about steve irwin a.k.a crocodile hunter's death. pretty saddening. i didn't believe the news at first. because in my opinion, he's one of the most daring person on planet earth. what would hapen to him right? but life is fragile. you maybe alive and kicking one moment, and the next, you'd gone to heaven (or hell. or whatever.). you'll never know what will happen next. i was talking to steph about this. and we both felt the same way. think-alikes and feel-alikes. haha. steph! i'm excited about the date on thursday. xD

okay. now the rain has stopped. -.-'

twin's having her n-levels social studies paper now. praying for you babe! xD

oh yes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAN DARLING! ((: see you later for steamboat!

i'll hit my books now. tatas. x))

2006-09-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

something that i hate most, is to be labelled by people who apparently, have no idea what's the truth, and just blindly assume. what losers.

the truth can never be more true. i don't have to do that lar. it's not like i'm desperately trying to get anything by doing that. so please, whoever it is, just get along with you life, and stop bothering about others and spreading stuff to other people about anything that you're not sure. because whatever you think or assume, may not be the truth. so come on, get a life.

okay. done with rants. still kinda pissed, if you know what i mean.

apparently, i have a pimple on my face. and so, i don't really have the mood to blog. plus, the earlier shit. i'll leave the blogging to the next time.

happy birthday mummy! i love you!

p/s: i will stop.. i will really stop.. sorry.

2006-08-31T22:09:00.000+08:00

HECTIC!

just went to expo. jamming like crazy due to two events, the TDR (teachers' day rally) and comex fair. of course, i was planning to go to the comex fair lar. not like i'm an educator or something.

anyway, the comex fair was jammed packed too. was there looking for a gift for mummy. her birthday's on sunday! xD went with dad. in the end we bought her a white nikon 5.1 megapixels camera at a rather cheap price with lots of free gifts! not bad at all!

there you go. the beautiful camera. ((: i hope she likes it!

currently, i'm drinking from my favourite cup!

haha. drinking from it makes me happy. don't ask me why. x)

hohoho. chloe won project runway yesterday. actually i'm quite happy that she did! haha! she's a sweetie.

i wanna watch more movies. !!! maybe i'll watch just my luck tonight. xD or maybe pirates of the carribean.

i wanna start at photo journal soon. and i wanna get a professional camera! the cannon one. and i wanna take photography lessons! or maybe if i decide to go into visual communications or mass com then i'll learn there instead.. ARG!

too little time.

i'm holding on, by letting go of you. STRAIGHTJACKET FEELING.

2006-08-30T18:38:00.000+08:00

"will you love me in the morning?"
"forever and ever baby."
-Click.

click is an awesome movie. i can't describe how much i love it.

today's chemistry practical was horrible. i did so many stupid mistakes, i don't even know how i came out with it. ammonia gas turns damp blue litmus paper red right? WRONG! can't believe i wrote that down. elim's so gonna kill me.

ahh. whatever. it's over. i know it's no use crying over spilled milk. yada yada.

project runway finale tonight. it'll be good!

lights will guide you home..

2006-08-29T20:29:00.000+08:00

sunday at fairli's was awesome. we curled our hair, did all kinds of nonsense. and i learnt how to stuff prunes into little tomatos. (:

black and white. i like! x) retro fever pls.

life has been good i guess. hectic hectic hectic!

oh btw, i think i screwed up my english comosition today. but then again, what can i do now? so just fast and pray! LOL. i was joking. but i prayed before that la, so it'll be alright. xD oh yes. and the hall was so freaking cold today. thank god i brought jacket. discernment! HAHA. i wanna get the red puma jacket soon! STEPH! and DAD! heh.

anyhoos, i'm alright now. thanks everyone! (: back to being a happy girl.

happiness is a choice. so is love.

tatas. ((:

2006-08-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

i am cunning, selfish, downright ugly on the inside.

WHAT HAVE I DONE....

2006-08-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

random thoughts that came to me, actually a few days ago..

sometimes we care too much about who's right, and who's wrong, and we overlook the important thing..

i took so many things for granted. i took people around me for granted. i took my parents for granted. i took my friends, my classmates for granted. i took him for granted. i took god for granted.

and before we know it, we lose all of them eventually. when we start treasuring, when we start knowing that it is important to us, its all too late. sad but often true i guess.

cherish everything that you've got. don't wait till u finally lose it, then start regretting..

i'm sorry..

end.

2006-08-20T21:33:00.000+08:00

Rev. Dr. A.R. Bernard is such a thinker, such a man of God. His level of wisdom is indescribable. i feel like i'm exploding on the inside whenever he gives his revelations. i really love his sermons! it sets me thinking, sets the whole church thinking, and that's a good thing. more importantly, it's definitely a God thing.

18.08.06
the opening session on friday was about being a Daniel in our world today. God wants us to change the world we're in and not run away from it, for fear that the world will overshadow us. we are in symbiosis. we're in the world, but not of the world.

Dr. A.R. Bernard also said something that left a deep impression in my heart. Ignorance is weakness and stubborness is the reason.

Learn how to navigate through life..

19.08.06
Second night was just as awesome. he talked a bit about love. Love is a choice. You can't possibly fall in and out of love. When people say that they've fallen out of love, they are just saying that they have chose not to love the other anymore.

our lives are composed by our personal choices. and to every choice that we make, there is a cause, and an effect which will then lead to another cause. our lives should be in order because freedom is based on order.

Things only work in divine order..

20.08.06
the last session was phenomenal. i was totally blown away. Dr. Bernard touched on relationships and also on knowledge. in relationship, distance is not measured by miles, its measured by affection. when people sin against us in a relationship, we withdraw our affection to the person. we stopped talking to each other. and the longer we stop talking to each other, the longer the issue drags. in the end, when we want to piece back the broken pieces, we don't even know where to start, because we forget what had caused the breakdown of that relationship.

that really impacted me.

our mind is the most powerful computer in the world. our mind turns information into beliefs. our beliefs then immediately impact our self esteem and self worth. it is then converted into actions and behavior based on the impact received. those actions then produce certain results in our lives and the results in turn become habits and they either bring us success or failure. IT IS A PATTERN. and so if we want to deal with our successes and failures, we have to go back to the information we receive. we have to renew our minds. because it translates the information we receive.

(for the full notes i took, either ask from me or refer to http://phunkafied-therapeutic.blogspot.com)

i can never express how thankful i am for Rev. Dr. A.R.Bernard's ministry. i am really impacted by it. my life's never gonna be the same again.

twin reminded me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR KONG. we love you! x)) have a great time with sun and baby dayan!

i am really overwhelmed by all the messages and i can't write it down in words.

till then.

2006-08-17T19:45:00.000+08:00

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

hey there. i was back home early, because i had no ssp! x)) and i was proud of myself. i finished the xinmin paper 1 and some of my tuition homework! i'm getting motivated! haha!

but, i'm only doing maths. and that makes me worried. what about my other subjects?! HAHA. well..

i was talking to steph.. wallowing in self-pity is not healthy! haha! or should i say it in the 'wenshan-way'. don't be comfortable in your own pity party! haha. private, private. =X

i fixed my television in my room. that means, i can watch tv, do homework and surf online at the same time! ((: multi-tasking.

i wanna get the shades at forever 21! x) i got the polka dots band already. whaha!

so many things to buy, so little money. why don't money drop from heaven. i'll definitely go catch. haha!

like bees love honey, I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATES! aww.

i'm a happy girl. x))

2006-08-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

will second chances be given to those who had made mistakes? or will he or she be unforgiven, for the rest of his or her life?

haha. i saw this on the yahoo homepage. nice eh. it was done with a screwdriver. i didn't know screwdrivers have the ability to creat such beautiful stuff.

anyway, i had my o'level english oral examinations today. i was kinda nervous at the waiting room and all. but once i stepped into the examination room, i felt peace in my heart. (thank you lord! x)) everything was okay.. but i think i screwed my picture and conversation up. the examiners were like scary. but nevermind, its all over. i leave it all up to god. ((:

i wanna change my blogskin. yeah, i know. again.

apprently, i'm not done with my tuition homework. and so i don't really understand why i'm blogging at this hour, when i'm supposed to be doing my a maths.

de-stress.

oh. mum just went to buy groceries. that means more food at home! which in turn also means that constance will put on weight at home, munching on everything and anything that she can find. =X

HOHO.

i'm in love with this belt. i like the floral details on the leather belt.
mum said she'll help me get her friend to get it for me! yay. btw, when i was shopping with my mum on sunday, i showed her my belt which was already cracking. and guess what she said.

"wah! cracked already ah. seasoned leh. good good."

i wanted to faint on the spot. yeah. introducing, my mum. ((:

i'm ending my post now! and its 5 mins to project runway on channel 5! x))

tatas!

2006-08-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

true love does not have any happy ending, because true love has no ending...

hoho. i just came back from practical at school. i was so dumb, i touched a hot test tube which i just heated(strongly). how cool is that? got a small little burn. but its alright. thank god. HAHA.

I HAVE TO FINISH UP MY ZHONGHUA 2005 PRELIMINARY ELEMENTARY MATHEMATICS PAPER 2. thanks to mr edward wong. actually, its my fault la. i did till question 6 only. BUT, he said if we've done at least 7 questions, we're save. which means i'm so close!!! arg! ohh well. nvm then. rush tonight! ((: i;m hardworking you know.

but i wanna finish watching click.. haha.

alrights! i'll get going. meanwhile, enjoy life!

---------
"Wait for Me" - Rebecca St. James

Darling did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
Darling did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
Keep your loving eyes only for me

I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait

Darling did you know I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
Til death do us part
I'll mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you

I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait

Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness and a second chance
So wait for me darling
Wait for me
Wait for me

i've been stuck to this song ever since twin sent it to me. beautiful song.

2006-08-13T20:22:00.000+08:00

"Love is one business where it pays to be absolutely lavish.

To give it away to your wife, to throw it away to your wife,

to splash it all over her!

Empty your pockets all over her, shake the basket for her and tomorrow,do it all over again, and again and again."
-Anonymous

the marriage seminar have been a blessing to everyone so far i guess. it will really help all of us, young and old, married and unmarried to handle relationships better.

i like what pastor said. true love, unconditional love, agape love is when u love, even when its inconvenient, even when the other party don't love anymore, even if the other party is full of weaknesses, even if it's difficult. it is a choice, a convenant you make to your loved one.

i'm actually feeling very overwhelmed, but i can't seem to pen it down.

oh yes. caught the fireworks yesterday. i still feel that the friday one was the nicest. ohh well.

hafta go finish up my chemistry papers. till then!

------------

"Unbelievable" - Craig David
Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

Now I see, what love means.

2006-08-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

i went on a date with my twin just now, supposingly to study. but guess what we did? shopped and walked around before proceeding to watch fireworks again. yeah, i know. typical us.

i feel the fireworks this time was nicer than the previous one we saw on tuesday. it has got more of the glittery stuff. it looks like its raining make-up. i'm sorry. i don't really know how to put it. but, ya. you get the point. anyway, we both felt like we watching fireworks with the wrong person. LOL. nevermind about that.

take a look:
from this to...

this. pretteh cool huh? yeah. we both loved it.

i hope i'll be able to catch the last one with my dearest cg members tomorrow! it'll be cool.

phew. i just came back. me and twin were eating at BK and we were listening to emo songs after that which was terrible. so gonna kill u EMO QUEEN. anyway, i didn't feel like going home too. oh well.

actually, i really wished you were there.

2006-08-10T10:36:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i blogged. so i'll probably blog stuff that were significant the past week. x) bear with me alrights.

5th and 6th august 2006

FOP was great. CCC band and Don Moen were really good! and btw, Don Moen is like DA MAN! can play piano, can play violin, can sing. haiyo. what else you want? wen shan and myself was mesmerised by him lar. LOL.

and of course, anniversary was like the best of the best! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHC! we're 17 years old! ((: and i want to take this opportunity to thank pastor kong for his ministry. pastor, i really love you. thanks for evreything you've done, the sacrifices you've made. you are the best pastor anyone could ever have. happy 20th year of ministry, pastor! oh ya. and after service, my family and my extended family went to take the family potrait thing. lols! we were like practically mad there. took a lot! and i mean a lot! i took one with my little raenen also! so exciting. btw, he LOVES balloons.

so handsome. x)

8th august 2006

cross country was awesome. practically walked the whole time with my 4e4. haha. we saw "ZHEN AI"! (according to sarene. x)) lols. nevermind. its for us to know and for you to find out. whaha.

4e4's winners! from left, krystal, cherlyn, yong cheng, shih han, eileen. our pride! x))

my lovely class. ((: don't mind the obscene position the man in red is in. we're all used to it. x)

then, in then night. we went to watch fireworks. we as in, me, twin, dale, jj, jingfa, samuel. it was beautiful.

beautiful right. see what i mean.

9th august 2006

happy birthday singapore.

had performance early in the morning lar. i was wondering who will be there to watch the performance. in the end, there was a hugh turn out. even pastor tan was watching! he was with some other church members. TWIN! why didn't you come. you missed out so much! LOL.

pastor was really glad with our performance. and he praised us. which is good! x) happy about that.

oh btw, we didn't take pictures. i brought out a FULLY charged camera and a FULLY charged spare battery without a memory card. -.- how dumb can i get.

after that, i rushed down for SOS @ sentosa. my group members were like COOL! x) ben, jerry, michelle, eunice, yongjun, ryan, desmond. we were told to do all kinds of funny, irritating and disgusting tasks before we can advance to the next station.. i can't believe i ate a centipede. at least, part of it. =x it was super gross lar. michelle, eunice and myself were like screaming away. but i gotta salute the guys. they ate hornets, cockroaches, and the centipede as well. and at one of the stations, we're supposed to add water to flour and 'wax' our hair.

look at our hair! kinda cool. lols.

and, we won! my group won! each had 10 dollard nike voucher. x) although its not a very very grand prize, but i was glad that i can share my joy with these 7 cool people. CHEERS! (:

i'll upload more picture when i get them..

10th august 2006

okay. i am supposed to finish my homework today. but i don't really feel like doing it lar. haiyo. my lazy flesh. =x

we would have been a year and 4 months.

2006-08-03T17:07:00.000+08:00

what if you never lose what you had lost? or maybe you never get what you had gotten? will everything still be the same?

miss tan finally said something which i think is quite meaningful today. she told us a story. (maybe she's just adopting mr lee's method of teaching us moral values through short stories.) but anyway, here goes:

once, there's this boy who cannot control his anger. his father told him that whenever he is angry, hammer a nail into the fence. so as days go by, the nails on the fence increased. but after some time, they begin to increase at a slower rate.finally, the boy stopped hammering in any nails. because he had learnt how to control his anger. he went to his dad and told him that. his dad praised him and asked him to take out the nails one by one from the fence. and so, that was what he did. and when he had finished removing the nails, his dad told him, "look at the fence. it doesn't look like what it is before. now, there're holes in it, holes you can't fill."

it's just as true in our lives. many times, many people do things out of anger, but they didn't know that whatever they did have hurt us. and when they apologize and all, the scar will still be there. just like the hole-ly fence, it's hard to fill up the holes. sorry may be the hardest word to say, but it doesn't guarentee the hurt can be erased.

sorry to those people i've hurt. sincere apologies.

to think about it, i've been rather slack these few days. wake up, bathe, go school. end school, come home, watch vcd, eat, sleep. that's what i do everyday. notice, there's no homework, revision blah blah.but, then again, i should start working hard now before i regret.

he's moved on. i should as well. wake up constance. don't bother so much already. just close your eyes and go to school. pretend you didn't see anything. or just pretend you didn't hear or read anything.

ya.right. easier said than done.

but what to do? it's not the same anymore. so many things have changed. so fast, i can hardly react to it.

oh well.

goodbye internet. hello vcds.

2006-07-31T20:02:00.000+08:00

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
-Psalms 23:4.

the past week had been great. deliverance. (: thank god for that. SPRING CLEANING SESSION!

god really expanded my faith on sunday. casting out demons is not as easy as it seems. in fact, it takes great faith and courage to be able to do that. if you think exorcist is scary, you should have seen expo hall 8 for yourself last weekend..

i hope linda's alright now.. x)

oh well. life's been good. i've been watching movies at home nowadays. it's like my new found hobby. lols.

and i need to cut my hair soon. STEPHANIE! hahas..

had career seminar today. some talks about courses i'm totally not interested in. how nice. wasting my life away. however, this seminar in a way set me thinking about the directions after my o's which is crucial for my success in life in future. i hope i'll make the right choice! (:

alrights! take care everyone. enjoy!

oh lord.. i release my forgiveness to those who have hurt me. and i pray that you forgive me for hurting the people i've hurt. thank you lord..

get it behind me, satan! i belong to god.. <3

2006-07-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

muahaha.

i'll be getting this birken.

florida garden party white. (: more or less decided. dad says its nice. haha. but he said that i have to go try it to see if it looks good before buying it. he said that i should try the madrid one if this doesn't look good on my feet.

there you go. madrid garden party white.

random, i know. i just felt like blogging this. lols.

going down for cell tonight. it'll be great! (: i love w355.

oh yes. i saw a really nice ed hardy top, that i really really like!

OMG. just look at that. "love kills slowly." i like this! however,i don't see it sellling at singapore's ed hardy leh. or did miss it. lols. if anyone see it, let me know alright. (:

phew. i dunno what to blog already.

so. tatas. :D

2006-07-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

twin's making me emo. she came out with a company. EMO CO. she's the chairman, i'm the ceo. lols. HEY HEY. I WANT MY PAY OKAY MISS CHAIRMAN. x))

"A Better Man" - Shayne Ward.

Until the oceans all run dry
Until the stars fall from the sky
Even if words dont seem to rhyme
I'll be addicted to your smile

And if the wind blows out the sun
I'll still believe you are the one
No matter what we're going through
I'll plan to spend my nights with you

I promise you my heart wont fade
I swear to you my soul always
It isn't hard to understand
You're making me a better man

Baby my love will say it all
I'll always catch you when you fall
And if the hard times get too much
I'll still be craving for your touch

I promise you my heart wont fade
I swear to you my soul always
It isn't hard to understand
You're making me a better man

I dedicate my world
I dedicate my all
For every moment
Your leaving me breathless

I dedicate my touch
Forever's not enough
I wanna hold on
I just wanna hold on to you

I promise you my heart wont fade
I swear to you my soul always
It isn't hard to understand
You're making me a better man

It isn't hard to understand, you're making me a better man.

all the lies that i've gotten, all the empty promises made. this song says it all. i know it's hard to understand how i feel. but still..

HAHA.

take care everyone.

2006-07-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

cherish what you have today, becuase you don't know if it's going to be there tomorrow.

my dearest twin went to collect her TRUE RELIGION jeans today. how irritating can it get. the cutting is so nice lar. ARG. i wanna get ANTIK soon! or maybe the HUDSON one we saw at skin today. aww. temptations.

and we went far east. and guess what i saw at left foot? the maple nike dunks and black with gold flowers nike shoe. ARG. twin said the black one is nicer. maybe i'll get it. i don't know. that is if i can get the funds lar.. too many thing to buy, too little money. (:

my stupid mp3 gave up on me. it refuses to function. i need an ipod video. and i'm choosy. i want the black one. HAHA. christmas present anyone? x)

after this entry, don't say and complain that constance is materialistic. thank you.

MOCK PRELIMS HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY. 2 more papers left to go. however, i lost the motivation to study already lar. haha. i have to get the momentum back! chemistry was a gone-case, so is my geog and history. whahaha. how great is that. studied, but studied the wrong chapters. i-ming and sarene will know what i mean.

oh yes. and if you don't know. i lost my phone. on the 105 bus on friday morning. so annoying. so kind souls out there, pls update me with you numbers because apparently, i lost all of them. ((:

have been stuck to shayne ward's 'no promises'. all thanks to twin for sending me this emo song. you should have seen the mtv, EMO.

"No Promises"
hey baby when we are together
doing things that we love.
every time you're near i feel like i'm in heaven
feeling high.
i don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

i don't wanna run away,
baby you're the one i need tonight.
no promises.
baby, now I need to hold you tight.
i just wanna die in your arms
here tonight

hey baby when we are together
doing things that we love.
everytime you're near i feel like i'm in heaven.
feeling high.
i don't want to let go, girl.
i just need you you to know girl.

i don't wanna run away.
baby you’re the one I need tonight.
No promises.
baby, now I need to hold you tight,
i just wanna die in your arms.

i don't want to run away
i want to stay forever
thru Time and Time..
no promises.

i don't wanna run away.
i don't wanna be alone
no promises.

baby, now I need to hold you tight.
now and forever my love.
no promises

i don't wanna run away
baby you're the one I need tonight.
no promises.
baby now I need to hold you tight.
i just wanna die in your
here tonight..

till then, enjoy x))

2006-07-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

"do unto others what you want others to do unto you."

sarene reminded me of that one day. don't do things that you won't want others to do to you. because one day, you'll understand the hurt and pain.

throughout my secondary school life, i've seen so much, gone through so much. everything you face, is inevitable. its part and parcel of life. it makes you stronger. it makes you a fighter.

i want to be a fighter.

yesterday's cellgroup was great. what touched me the most is when wen shan said that everything that we faced is father-filtered. everything that comes into our lives, goes through the screening of the father first. whatever that we face,it is a guarentee from god that we'll be able to go through. he will not give us situations we cannot handle, heartaches we cannot heal, disappointments we cannot get out of. that touched me. (:

why would we want to settle for something less, so much less. when we can have victories over failures, happiness over sadness, peace of god over anger. why would we want to search for something in the world to solve a problem, when the solution is just infront of us. all we have to do, is ask god for directions...

dearest sarene! i'll be your biggest supporter. don't give up alrights? i love you! don't think so much already. take care! x))

2006-07-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder how words can hurt. i used to think its just some words, don't have to take it to heart. until, i experienced it myself.

sometimes you have to go through something yourself in order to know how it feels like.

lesson learnt: always put yourself in other people's shoes and think about how you'll feel if you were to be in the same situation. in this way, you won't want to hurt anyone with words, actions, etc.

i thank god for experiences. he gave them to me so that i won't make the same mistakes again.

what's most important is that you stand up, after you fall.

sometimes i just hope god can show me the end before i begin. but i know its impossible.. if we knew the ending to everything, we won't know what's taking risks.

if you ever ask me, did i regret what i did? i would say no, and that i would do it even if i know what's coming.

and as you move on, remember me. remember us and all we used to be.

2006-07-13T00:56:00.000+08:00

first of all, happy birthday to yongzhi (12 july), nicholas pua (13 july), eunice baobei (13 july) and jun yong (13 july).

to yongzhi: thanks for all your efforts that you've put in JP. we all really appreciate all that you've did. i have improved a lot under you during emerge talentime practices. thank you very much. i have learnt a lot from in, from dance steps, to relating to people and even how to look at things at different points of view. thanks so much.

to nicholas pua: hey! stop being lame alread can or not? i'll buy you wheelchair if you need it lar. haha. thanks for all your jokes that perks all of us up. and and and... don't be so emo already okay? must work on it. haha. take care!

to eunice baobei: HEY GIRL. i really love you to bits lar. missed you like crazy. haha. take pictures soon okays. i'll pass you your present real soon. haha. continue to grow in the lord okays? don't ever give up, because He has never given you up. ((: love!

to junyong: hey brother. i'm glad to be in the same kingdom of god with you. and i remember the times when we're still under sister carol. it has been great to be growing together in the house of god. thanks for everything. take care.

okay. back to my life. went to gave a surprise birthday celebration for yongzhi and nickpua. haha. i bet they were shocked lar. from their faces. however, all the thrill end when the receptionist came in to gave us a lecture. haha. quite spoiler though. haha. anyway, i hope they enjoyed it! (:

life's gonna be hectic. past year papers piling on my table, untouched. how nice. i'm gonna get it from mr. wong tomorrow. my bukit panjang government high paper is still practically blank. god bless me tomorrow.

i hope i'll be getting back my chem paper tomorrow. i can't stand the butterflies in my stomach. but then again, if i score badly ar, then i don't know how to react already.

life's like water! drink it! x))

and she teared. yet again.

2006-07-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

the lord is good.

But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
-matthew 6:33

despite going for practices before emerge talentime, despite having a lot of problems in my life, the lord is good. he came true for Joyous Perfection and myself. not only did he make us champions of all champions. he provided so many doors for us to perform, for superman event, the gig at raffless place. Joyous Perfection is indeed very blessed. we are like walking under open heavens. not only did He bless us in a way all of us could not imagine or ask for, He has given us an opportunity to shine for him in the marketplace. just like what pastor said, being a Daniel in the marketplace. and in my recent progress report that i have received, i not only improved a little. i improved tremendously. i never thought i would be able to do that. it's never the work of man. but with God, all things are possible. juggling practices for talentime, school work, family and friends is not an easy job. but, He came true for me.

all glory be unto God.

service yesterday was PHENOMENAL. i was very blessed and touched by the whole message. press on. don't give up on your own visions and dreams that the Lord has placed in you. sometimes when the tough gets going, you may turn to the devil for a shortcut out of the situation. in God's path, there will no doubt be trials and tribulations. PRESS ON. keep on keeping on. don't exchange you vision for something lesser. trust God, that He will bring you through. don't turn away from him and look for a short way out. press on together with Him.

know the heart of god, so that you will not make foolish choices.

went fellowshipping with my dearest cellgroup. had loads of fun! haha. just look at the photographs.

omg omg. did you see that?!
no no no. don't worry. they are not gays.

oh yes oh yes. and i received my membership card!finally. share my joy. ((:

gone. you're gone.

2006-06-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

ho ho ho.

life has been okay i guess. first week of school. quite a lot of slacking actually.. lotsa catching up with the peeps in school.

i seriously have nothing to blog about actually.

tomorrow's 'be yourself day' here in zhonghua. we'll all be wearing our own clothes. but sadly, i have chem prac after that. like what the black?!

there'll also be a JP performance. but i'm not sure of the details yet though. gotta wait for tess to update all of us. haha. cg after that. i love cg. i get soaked in the presence of god, which is a wonderful thing, if you know what i'm talking about. (:

you know sometimes when you think too much, or hope too much, and everything doesn't go your way, the disappointment is so much more than if you just don't really care about it.

i don't know why i'm feeling this way, but i shouldn't be. anyway, i lost the right to already.

2006-06-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

DON'T EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE YOU MEANT IT WHEN ACTUALLY YOU ARE JUST FAKING IT. BECAUSE THE HURT THAT YOU WILL CAUSE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN WHEN YOU ACTUALLY TELL THE TRUTH.

sometimes i really wish you know how much hurt you've caused me.

2006-06-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

deleted the crap post. no more questions asked.

will be performing for the combined cell group meeting tomorrow. it'll be good. taking part in some parts of the drama as well. actually, it's quite fun to act. haha. at least, for now.

theresa said that twin and me made it too obvious. so we have to do it the more natural way. i'm learning babe. hahas.

i want to live a purpose-filled life, knowing that god is the constant help that i will receive. (: i love abba father.

once is enough to learn a lesson. i don't have to go through it twice to learn the same lesson. i remember hearing, its okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from it. i will learn from my mistakes. and make sure that i won't fall into the same trap all over again.

because everyone is imperfect, don't expect me to be perfect.

2006-06-21T00:35:00.000+08:00

like the saying goes, pictures tell a thousand words. here, some pictures.

i really love all of them. because they love me for me. not somebody else that they want me to become. thank god of brothers and sisters in the kingdom of god.

:)

2006-06-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

oh lord. guide me in your ways. teach me how to fulfil my life's assignment.

had prayer meeting. great presence of god.. i sensed it when the whole congregation prayed for Joyous Perfection. i felt it. and i couldn't stop tearing.

harsh brown? violent potato. hush brown? eat it silently.

HAHA.

feel so restless now. maybe its bed time. maybe its time to talk to god again.

goodbye.

ringing: before your love - kelly clarkson

you didn't love me. you loved the person you wanted me to be.

2006-06-20T13:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMY! a.k.a banana nut crunch, mr anti-social-nerd. hope you will enjoy your special day alrights?! ((:

will be heading down to twin's house later to help out with the kids talentime item. hahas. i'm telling you, the 2 little boys look really cute when they pop la. so cute! i wanna video them! haha..

will be having prayer meeting later at YMCA. it'll be good. x))

2006-06-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

apparently, me and nicole had nothing better to do. and so, we came out with interesting nicknames. HAHA.

INTRODUCING:
nicole-MIKO
theresa-MIBO
vanessa-MITO
myself-MILO

right. i know some of you here will find it like stupid. but actually, there's some story behind it. but like what my twin has said, its private joke. LOL!!! im sorry. haha.

and i can't believe i told twin that i grew up in antartica with my parents and that we used to live in an igloo. you must be thinking why is constance being so mad. i think i'm just under too much stress. haha. and my dearest twin actually went on to say that i fish for fish in ice holes. LOL. i just love her to bits. she goes crazy with me! (:

hello. this is my twin, miko. ((: i can't wait to see her tomorrow.

good night world!

2006-06-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

hello world.

had a date with my beloved twin, tim and nick.

had subway AGAIN for lunch, walked around town and decided to catch a movie. and guess what we caught? silent hill. yes, constance did watched a horror movie. was begging them not to in the beginning. but, for everyone's sake, i gave in. but they were really nice la, at least they try to tell me and convince me that it won't be that much of a scare to me. hahaha. and i think that didn't really work though. and so we went in and were practically screaming and laughing throughout the movie. twin will know what i mean. ;]
i love my twin. (: a lot.

and recently, got really irritated by some pple. twin too. she knows what i mean. right nic? haha. some pple just don't know the limits. haha.

TWIN, THERESA, VAN. I MISS YOU ALL.

and to all 4e4-rians, please take the trouble to send me your personal photos, or else.... haha. fill in the blank youself. help to spread okays? thanks.

happy father's day to all fathers in the world. and of course to mine as well!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY GOD. ((:

2006-06-16T11:27:00.000+08:00

i just love my 2 babes. met them up for dinner at subway after nic's bs. it was really fun. we all had like the most fun when we went prints. theresa said we can buy a book and write messages and like rotate the book around. but at the end of the day, we can't decide who's gonna keep the book. so nic said, "LET'S BURY THE BOOK." and me and theresa was like -.-". hahaha! time capsule! nic ah, you are full of nonsense. haha.

I LOVE THEM.

well, life goes on..

2006-06-13T10:06:00.000+08:00

once bitten twice shy.

sometimes somethings can be done the second time, but sometimes somethings can't. no matter how hard you try..

yesterday, i was at my aunt's house. my little nephew, raenen was there. he is now learning how to stand. when he accidently fell and hit his head, i remember hearing my aunt say that it's all part of growing up. what is most important is that he stands up again.

i think what she's said is true.. many times, we do fall, although not literally.. but what is important is that we learn to stand up and learn from the mistakes that we made. if we don't, then that fall was a wasted one.

it's not easy.

there's prayer meeting tonight. guess i'll be going..

sorry for the emo-ness in here. just felt like blogging this. don't worry, i'm okay...

till then..

2006-06-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

great is the lord and most worthy of praise
the city of our god the holy place
the joy of the whole world

great is the lord in whom we have the victory
he aids us against the enemy
we bow down on our knees

and lord we want to lift your name on high
and lord we want to thank you
for the works you've done in our lives
and lord we trust in your unfailing love
for you alone are god internal
throughout earth and heaven above

***

cell group was great.. refreshing in a sense. i was really glad wen shan did the 'share-your-impact-emerge-had-on-you' session.. got real emo and cried when i was sharing.. emerge really leave a deep impression on me. talentime and all the sessions. THANK GOD FOR JOYOUS PERFECTION. i believe its all part of god's plan that i joined JP. and pastor's message on being a daniel, jabez and ester in our world today impacted me. in the world but not of the world.

sometimes its so hard to walk in god's plan and will. but i'm glad and thankful that i have w355 and close friends in church who will encourage me and pick me up when i fall. only they will understand all the pressure and how it feels to walk in god's purpose. thanks guys.. (:

bear with me. hah.. theresa, nic, van! miss you babes like mad! see you tomorrow! i can't wait to hug you all. :D

i think i use to have cool hair when i was very very young.

hahas! i know. i had pointy hair. quite cool huh? hah.

service will be great tomorrow. ya. i just know. (:

2006-06-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

WE WON! JOYOUS PERFECTION WON EMERGE TALENTIME 2006!

so exciting! i'm glad we pulled through!

joyous perfection, it takes a lot of effort and god's help to work togehter as a team and go so far together. we know each other's flaws and strengths. i really love you guys to bits with the love of god. and i'm really glad i was part of this whole thing.

special thanks to yong zhi, theresa and khye.

yong zhi, thanks for all the hard work that you have put in. it has all been worth it. thanks for the sweat and brain cells that you have given out when u choereograph the steps. thanks.

theresa, thanks for being a wonderful 'manager' of joyous perfection and also a great sister. thanks for being there when i needed strength the most. you have put in a lot of effort bonding the group and we can all see that. thanks for all your 'knocking into me some sense' session. i really really appreciate that.. love you babe.

khye, thanks for all your brain juices as well. and your square face that brings smiles to all our faces. although we always disturb you, you must know that we all really appreciate and love this brother we have. thanks again.

thanks also to all the supporters! NYP PEEPS! you guys so rock. ((: thanks for screaming your lungs out and suporting us like nobody's business. THANK YOU!

thanks to all talentime finalists. you guys have been great support! ((:

thanks to bro kenny and bro ryan who have given us support and corrections that indeed have brought out the best out of us. thank you very very much!

thanks w355 and all ex-cgm for the emotional support. wen shan! thanks for believing in me! (: love y'all.

last of all, thank god for everything! it is You who brought us so far.. THANKS DADDY! :D

PHEW. life has beeen hectic. sorry folks for the spiderwebs around this place.

i can't think straight now. lols. anyway, i'll update another time i guess.

((: peace out.

2006-04-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

stop doing stupid things to yourself.. that is not the way to solve the problem or relieve your stress, pain or whatsoever.. if you still continue to do it, tell me. i'll do it with you. it's not only you. it hurts the rest of the people around you. and if you think that is enough for you to do all those things, i have nothing to say.. even if its the last time you're going to listen to me, just stop doing all those things. i beg you..

FORGOTTEN HISTORY.

there's debate tomorrow. but i just don't feel like debating. there's chinese test tomorrow. but i just don't feel like studying. there's homework to be done. but i just feel like copying.

no motivation. nothing is done.

all is lost. all is gone. i hope i can pull through.

dance on tuesday, wednesday and thursday. auditions on friday. lord, guide us.

things will never be the same again. and i think about those good old days all the time. and i hope that's not where it'll stop.

keep the memories, for the future.

constance, be strong.

2006-04-13T16:22:00.000+08:00

i realised that i haven't been blogging for a long time..

life's still good. as busy as ever.

vina jie's wedding is getting me busy. busy with shopping that is. the colour theme she chose for her entourage is black plus fushia pink. weird choice. but still she has the final say. so it sent me going all around the island, thinking of how i should do the matching. my aunt said that i can't wear black. it must be a mix. problem!

i'm feeling happy. because tomorrow's holiday. and sunday's EASTER! i'm excited about the service at church. its definitely going to be a blast. ((: it has always been.

talentime auditions up next. sends chill down my spine. i'm really afraid that i can't catch up! joyous perfection, let's do it together! x)

sometimes i wonder what lies beneath.

1 year 5 days. :)

10 more days.. x)

my mum took it in paris. beautiful.

till then.

2006-03-01T13:04:00.000+08:00

alrights! i found out that my fellow classmates would prefer something that is messed up, destroyed, and distorted. haha. some sort la.. so i have decided to listen to them! anyway we are a class wat. so i'm back with the new and updated nice fonts. everything else is sort of confirmed already. ((: however, i will still go to the person in charge of printing and ask for his views and if it is possible to print these kinds of fonts not. so i'll keep you guys updated. meanwhile, have a look at it alrights? :D

okay. this will be in front, right at the center. what to do? the adidas logo is in the middle larh! haha. i like the barcode. :D

and yup. this will be at the side of the sleeves. which side, i still dunno. which side you guys want? or rather, which side do pple usually put ah? lol. kinda cool right the fonts. (:

and this are the fonts that will be likely used for the name and number and all. however, its kinda small. so if u guys wanna take a closer look, you all can wait till i go back school. (or maybe by clicking the picture? i dunno.) haha. cause i need approval from wong, kelvin and b singh. don't worry! i wrote a proposal somemore. haha. so yups.

thats all. hope its alright though. and no problems in the printing!

till then, enjoy! (:

2006-02-27T12:23:00.000+08:00

okay. 4e4. im sort of done. a few fonts to choose from!

heh heh. i'm taking sarene's name and number for sample. hope you don't mind kays?! haha. right. from top : shagadelic, helldorado, mandingo, broken 15, all star and candy randy.

vote vote! (:

2006-02-27T11:40:00.000+08:00

UNFORTUNATELY, miss constance is STILL stucked at home.

!!!

i have yet to finish all the CRAZY homework. some of which i dun even know because i'm not there for lessons! great. but tingying's such a sweetie! she photocopied her notes for me! and packed everything nicely in a plastic file and passed to my daddy. so sweet huh. i find myself loving her more and more! haha. hope she doesn't see this though. (:

and i am missing dance for 2 weeks!

like what the heck!

i miss nic, theresa and xian darlings! *sobs. next week kays? when i'm well! oh! nic's birthday alrites?! :D

i'm like a bird, waiting for the cage to somehow miraculously open.

ok. that was crap.

OH YES. hello 4e4 people! haha. im like trying my best to make use of the ~~good~~ time have a home to finish up our jersey! don't you love me?! ((: haha. but i need so suggestions regarding the fonts and stuff. i'll be posting it soon when i have finished all the stuff. so, some kind soul print it out and ask the class or something kays? my presence will go with you. LOL. miss you guys! the crap and all. loves.

mum's going the spain/paris tomorrow. HERSELF! arg! my dad and myself have been ignoring her and refusing to speak to her from the time she broke the news to us. hello? BARCELONA? EIFEL TOWER?

i'm just going mad thinking that she'll be having a good time while i'm still stuck at home until she finally comes back. she better get me stuff! ha..

alrights. have fun world. (: i'll get down to work. my classjersey that is. :P hahah.

take care everyone!

2006-02-24T11:04:00.000+08:00

well. the latest news is that, i have chicken pox. -.-

what a time to get it. i heard from tingying that haoyu or something from e5 got chicken pox too. tingying claimed that somehow he passed it on to me.. yah. why me ah? sian..

i-ming's so cute! haha. you won't get it la i-ming. but anyway, go get the vaccine! ha..

anyway, it kind of irritating. i mean the chicken pox. it grows literally, EVERYWHERE. my face, body, back, limbs, etc. its kinda gross. haha. but nvm. it will disappear sometime later. i just hope that there won/t be scars although i think this is impossible because a lot of the pox had burst already. but, it s still good to have a little hope. it keep you going on.

i have MC till like 9th? what crap. i know the girls miss me la! haha. esp waimun right? cause she don't have anyonw to run with during p.e. haha. and of course tingying. because i'm not there to block the view of the teacher, so that she can take a quick nap. haha. see, i'm actually quite important.

anyway, i've uploaded the cny 2006 photographs already. vivien jie, remember to go get rae's photographs! ((:

life at home is boring..

update, update! had a few shopping trips with dear steph. (:

haha.we both agree that we look best in this photo.

and, sarene, i-ming and i had fun imagining ourselves as terrorists.
hahas. yup.. just trying very hard to entertain myself..

i think i'll go sleep now. the medicine is making me drowsy. PRAY FOR ME! that the scars won't appear! ((:

love y'all.

2006-01-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

(my mum's taking a long time to upload her pictures. bleah.)

2nd day of CNY.

feeling alright. ha. raenen's uber cute, as usual. (:

well. seeing those things make me feel like even more bitter. i can just feel it coming out through my spine. yeah.

tomorrow there will be peeps coming over. it'll be good. i'll greet them in my t-shirt and shorts before proceeding to change. can't decided what to wear anyway.

no project runway, no victoria secrets fasion show.

ok. my post is getting so random.

the thought of school starting in one day's time totally put me off. it will mean test, one after another. ARG.

THANKS MAN.

happy chinese new year everyone. hope u guys have enjoyed it so far.

and i finally knew. you had fun anyway.

2006-01-17T18:30:00.000+08:00

do you even try respecting me? as a human being?

LOL

no. you did not. and if you ever will, i know pigs will fly.

it's just how disappointed you make me, and how much i decided trust.

you have let me down.

2006-01-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

i miss them! so much.. )):

i am so stressed by the homework load that i get. its so.. RIDICULOUS. so much homework to be completed the next day. its frustrating. u get what i mean? i know twinnie does. (: oh crap. i miss her!

and the latest news is that i have decided to drop physics. its my decision. and like what cher will always say, i have decided and therefore, i must learn to face the consequences. so, talk no more about physics in front of me. thank you very much. hahas. i guess the meeting with the HOD, teachers and vice-principal kind of helped me get to my final decision. i will not regret! (:

i need maths tuition.. fast.

TWINNIE AND DARLINGS, LETS GO OUT SOON OKAYS? MISS YOU ALL LIKE CRAP.

maybe i'm just jealous la huh? arg.. i can't stand my sensitivity.

2005-12-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

its now 10.42 pm.. 1 hour and 18 more minutes to a brand new year.. at this last few moments of 2oo5, i wish i can say thanks to some people..

(in no order of preference.)

to cherylnn:
thanks girl for always being there, supporting me.. i really needed that... we've been through so much, i know we'll continue to. remember that u promised to help the sky for me when it falls!!! love you. hope that 2oo6 will be a good year ahead for you.

to shuhan:
hey my naughty sjab girl. got problem then confirm run to you, cause you're someone who gives good suggestions and understands how i feel. really thank you for the past one year. you've helped me a lot.. thanks.

to andrea:
my dajie. you seem to know everything. anything happen also cannot run from your eyes. hope 2oo5 was a good year for you. and i know 2oo6 will be better. keep dancing. wait for me to join class with you pple! loads of love..

to vanessa:
dear girlie.. i know you've been through a lot. got anything must speak out k? dun hide it all inside. if not one day will explode de. and thats the last thing i want to see happening to you. take care..

to michelle:
i'm so glad you came! continue to join us k? dun worry my dear girl. they are really nice people. try to get to know them. and whatever you do, follow your heart. i believe all of us will support you. see you soon girl..

to veronica:
haven seen you for a long time alread. hope you're doing fine. i'll keep praying for you. dun worry. i'm sure one day she'll understand. cheer up girl. looking forward to seeing you real soon..

to w355:
you all have been really great spiritual brothers and sisters. no matter what, i know i can always count on you guys. thanks for being there for me, supporting me whenever you can. i know 2oo6 will be a good year for all of us as we continue to bond more closely together. cheers.

to ex-w198:
you guys really rock to the core. i'm glad that i was part of you guys. i can never thank you all enough. thanks for everything in the past few years, and even now. i know our friendship will continue to blossom. stay in touch.

to 3e4'2oo5:
my class of monkeys. welcome back to the zoo.. i really had fun with you guys. keep rocking. start working hard for 'o' levels alread!

to steph, syu, jac and grace:
staircase gang. take good care of yourselves! and work hard for 'o' levels. i'm glad i got to know you guys more. cheers!

to twinnie:
hey girl. we;ve been through so much. frustrations, anger, happiness etc. name it, we got it. take care. loves!

to the rest of the gang :
hey! we've only known each other for a short period of time. but i believe its gonna get better. i thank god for you guys. god bless.

to you:
i know you can never be replaced. sorry for all the times i made you mad. and thank you for everything in 2oo5.. 2oo6 will be great. work hard! i'll be supporting you. love..

most importantly,
to god:
thank you for 2oo5. its been a year of ups and downs. but i'm glad i pushed through! i will be believing you for a better year ahead. i know, you'll never fail me. help me, this i pray. amen.

time check, 1131. 29 more minutes..

goodbye 2oo5, hello 2oo6..

2005-12-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

i love these people. ((:

meanwhile, i've finished the word and quote of the day homework. spent a good one hour on it. ms ten better appreciate my effort.

ok. so it has been decided that i CANNOT go for the camp anymore. what a strong word to use huh? lol. its doesn't matter to me anymore. there's so much things to worry about. that is one off the list.

maybe i should just STOP worrying about everything.

2005-12-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

i think i've ceased to feel. hahas.

production has ended. everything's well. heard from twinnie that sun said it was good. glory unto Him. now, without all the rehearsals and practices, i feel weird. i think its alright to feel that way. haha..

i think i'm very bothered by the sec 1 camp stuff. its kinda weird how pple work. so its like they expect me to be there when i receive no information about any meetings or whatsoever. TADA. its weird how pple think. if u really want me to appear when i know nuts about it, then you are expecting too much from me. i'm not god, neither can i read your mind. thank you. its not the part where i'm not being able to be part of the camp that makes me mad. but the blaming part. HELLO?! please stop blaming me?! because i have not and surely did not receive anything about the camp. case close. period.

madness.

2005-12-23T11:38:00.000+08:00

right. tomorrow's the day..

thinkin about going on stage tomorrow makes me think of somethings..

have u ever wonder? the people up stage, with big white smiles and all, are they really feeling the same way they potray themselves. performing is almost like hiding how you feel and present the best out of yourself regardless of your current situation. behind all the make-up, all the smiles, you see lonliness, depression and hurt.

that's just some random thoughts that came to my mind.

if you think everyone who's smiling and performing is happy and contented, you must be so shallow..

i'm off.

2005-12-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

I'VE GOT MY JAZZ SHOES! envy me please.. i just love it can.. haha..

i think i'm going ikea soon. with dad. i'm making my darlings christmas presents! heh.. thank me hor! i so busy still make. lols. just hope to see as many of them on saturday. QUAN KAO NI LE CHER DARL. (:

and and and.. guess wat? i went window shopping with twinnie yesterday and i saw this really really nice bag and i really really liked it! and.. i'm getting it today! twin said i should get it. and dad says he wants to get me for christmas. like YAYS. hah..

like cher, i'm into playboy too. LOL. i want the bracelet. if not the necklace. if it's a necklace, i wan a real big one. hah.. we'll se about it..

and constance have lost weight. :D haha.. i'll update soon..

2005-12-21T11:18:00.000+08:00

dance is getting hectic. almost everyday this week. but hey, i'm loving it more and more. hah.

cherylnn's back! (LIKE YAYS!) she didn't buy me anything.. hmphs! but i still love her so! haha.

i'm gonna get my jazz shoes today with the peeps. (DOUBLE YAYS!) always what i wanted. and bro kenny's subsidising 40 bucks as a token from the dance ministy. nice eh? x))

you know it hurts. the fact is i've never done those things and yet you blame me for doing that. i've never done it.. but if you'll feel better if i said yes, then i did it. enjoy yourself.

and.. i haven send out my christmas cards..

2005-12-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

brother ryan taught me something.

its not as easy as it seems to be a dancer. your attitude, the way u look at things and all the hard work that you have to put in. its really all discipline, discipline and more disciplining of the mind, body and soul..

being part of this christmas production have blessed me much. the things i learn physically, emotionally and spiritually can never be replaced.. in order to put up a good item, a good and solid dance item, every single one is responsible for taking it seriously. its a group item. not a solo dance item. we all have to work as a group, practise together till perfection.

i really want to taste the fruit, with over 7,000 people clapping and screaming for you. i know like what brother ryan said, its a golden opportunity and not a lot of professional dancers can get a crowd like this and feel the way that we will feel. i am really fortunate and blessed.

i will work HARD. practise my steps till PERFECTION. mark my words..

thanks brother ryan. u have really taught me a lot. thank you..

lord.. help me please. without you, its impossible. but with you, i know its possible.

***

2005-12-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

back from KL. didnt buy anything much..

going JB again next weekend. duno what's wrong with the going in and out of malaysia.. the jam makes me sick.

ok.. i saw lots of stuffed toys there.. ha..

my mind is totally blank.. i have nothing else to blog..

oh yes..

vanessa darling.. dun sad le k? (: cheerios.. dun wan see pple sad sad de..

cher dear. buy me stuff from taiwan k? love u..

hannie! dun get tortured in camp.. ha.. long time never see u le.. go out soon. ha..

andrea lao da.. keep dancing.. got work tell me ah! i need to have income.. ha.

ronz.. i duno where u go le la.. nv see and talk to u for ages.. tc girl.

michy baby.. sorry couldn't meet u at KL eh.. last min changes. anyways, enjoy yourself..

i should be done here.. i'll blog about the trip another time.. tc peeps..

just like what you've said.. i hate you because i love you.. im sorry for all the times that i made u mad.. u must know i really did not do it on purpose.. all the bm2 and hm2 i saw at KL made me really kept thinkin of what happened in the past.. everywhere i go.. i will change.. but.. please help me.. love..

2005-12-02T09:02:00.000+08:00

lots of stuff going in zhss..

like wth? mr lim's leaving. and that is not a very good sign. one day we'll witness the fall of zhonghua.. and who else? i heard that mr noel koh, miss ten and mrs tobias are leaving. and so, we'll also see the downfall of the english dept. can u imagine? mrs tobias gone. who's gonna take care of the school's stuff ah? all the time, i see mrs tobias in-charge of this and that.. mr matthew quek's leaving as well. who else.. and of course.. miss loo's leaving.. mrs e lim's and mr lee mc gonna retire next year. and grace said that miss michelle chan's contract's ending next year. i duno how true all these are but.. one thing i know.. maybe the one who has leave is thp.

i'll never understand all the politics and internal affairs of the school. never.. what seems so nice and proper and tidy, in the end, turns out to be a pile of dunno what.

and syu was saying.. was it syu? or grace? ok nvm. just one of them. she said we don't have to visit our teachers anymore after we've graduated. because there's no more teachers we know to visit. makes sense eh?

why am i caring so much ah.. one more year and i'm gone. just don't take away all the current sec 3s' teachers. please. we beg u..

to think of it.. o's gonna come real fast.. can't believe that i'm gonna end my secondary life soon.. where should i go after that? time to plan for the future eh? ha..

i tell u. i hate maths alright. i just can't get it la.. ha.. i think maths has given up on me.. oh well..

surprisingly, i've done SOME of the holiday homework.. which surprisesd myself as well.

HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. =/
english;
#1: commonwealth esaay.
#2: ~~subscribe to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/~~- write down 3 words + 1 quote each week [for 6 , weeks]. find a personal quote to share.
~~#3: vocabulary exercise 78, 79, 80, 92.~~

chinese;
#1: chinese assesment [whole book].
#2: bao zhang du hou gan.
~~#3: lian xi 1, 2, 3.~~
#4: bedok view sec paper.
#5: xin min sec paper.

emaths;
#1: holiday assignment.

amaths;
#1: holiday assignment.
#2: mr. lee's assignment.

lol.. i didnt do a lot ah.. haha.. okay. i'll make sure i do some before i go kl next week. its really cool. cher's going taiwan on 9th and i think she'll be back like 13th? is it? ha. and han's going camp on the 9th to 12th. michy is going kl on the 9th! and i'm going on the 8th! really coincidence eh..

yesterday i went to meet mum for lunch.. we went esprit.. and i got this beigey-white pants. heh.. real nice. there's this tiger behind. and it's kinda cool. im happy. (:

going out with godma and aunt real soon. im gonna wear that. ;) and i'm havin cg at 7. it'll be good.

im leaving u with my dear nephew's picture!

aww.. heh... till then, enjoy! ((:

2005-11-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

my cute little nephew! raenen! aww~ loves! :D

2005-11-24T11:08:00.000+08:00

and i pray that it'll be okay..

today is thursday. i have ballet at 6.30. again.. ~~dun feel like going le~~.. i ~~dun like~~ intermediate. i rather go for grade 6 class.. i love romantic styles.

today is thursday. im supposed to give my brother tuition. 1 hr. should i just give one shot 2 hrs? nah.. dun think so. my brother have a very short attention span.

today is thursday. i think cher's working.. hmm.. maybe i should just go help her, since i did not yesterday. but i gotta wait for her to reply. and she's not replying. ha..
,
today is alread thursday. and i have not started on any homework. hmm. do i even remember what i've got? please kind samaritans, remind me if i did.

HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. =/

english;
#1: commonwealth esaay.
#2: subscribe to www.thefreedictionary.com- write down 3 words + 1 quote each week [for 6 , weeks]. find a personal quote to share.
#3: vocabulary exercise 78, 79, 80, 92.

chinese;
#1: chinese assesment [whole book].
#2: bao zhang du hou gan.
#3: lian xi 1, 2, 3.
#4: bedok view sec paper.
#5: xin min sec paper.

emaths;
#1: holiday assignment.

amaths;
#1: holiday assignment.
#2: mr. lee's assignment.

that should be all. (: i shall start doing today.. since i'll be at home the whole day. ha.

oh. cher replied. she's ill. that means that she's not working. take care girl..

i shall do the subscription now. since im online.

chill people.

2005-11-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

hey pple. im back..

its been a long week. and there's many stuff running through my tiny mind.

so many things, now, seem to be temporary. blink you eyes, and it's all gone. and this leaves you behind with this "what has happened?" kind of mentality. clearing up the messes of life is just what everyone must learn to do. don't just leave it there and hope that it will go away, or hope that it will just keep rotting until it disappears. it will not happen if you start to realise.

this makes me wonder. what in the world is then long-lasting. the un-wavering feelings and things? what are those?

ok. im getting all crappy and stuff. well, tmr will be a sakae lunch-cum-teabreak buffet with cher, han, vane and joey? followed by the closing night of tabernacle series. its gonna be good.

but first. i need moneh. hah.

2005-11-13T21:29:00.000+08:00

i just hope what happened yesterday was a nightmare.. total nightmare..

i hate myself. i hate myself for pretendin to be happy, but deep inside feeling hurt. the more i tried to be happy, the worse the pain grew. ha. silly me.. i can smile and laugh so hard until i roll on the floor, but the more happy i got, the worse my heart got. i hate my pretense. and myself.

how will it feel like? everything will change i guess. everything. the hurt, is gonna stay there long. and i mean long.. i've learnt that, the more u love, the more painful it'll be..

yesterday was a dream... wasn't it?